The Comic Strip That Has A Finale Every Day by John "Scully" Scully for March 24, 2022

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A man walks into a bar and sees 2 steaks hanging from the ceiling.

He sits down and orders a beer, and asks the bartender “what’s the deal with the steaks?”

“It’s a competition. If you can jump up and slap both steaks at the same time, one with each hand, you win the bar. If you try and fail, though, you pay for everyone’s drinks for the rest of the night”

The man sits and thinks it over, and a couple minutes later the bartender asks if he wants to have a go.

“Nah, the steaks are too high”

However, a different guy overheard the offer. He’d been having money troubles all his life but had slowly begun turning his life around. He’d saved a little money and paid off most of his debts. It had been a struggle though, and he wasn’t sure he could keep doing it much longer. He thought if he could just win this bet, well, everything would be alright. Of course, if he lost the bet, paying everyone’s bar tabs would be enough to financially ruin him.

“What the heck,” he thought. He’d played basketball in high school and considered himself to still be in good shape. He crouched down and with all his might jumped as high as he could. His right hand stretched and stretched and just with the barest of touches, his middle finger grazed the hanging meat.

In the same motion, his left hand swung towards the steak. His reach came ever so close to the steak but alas no contact was made.

As the realization flooded over him, he crumpled to the ground and cried.

“How could I let one missed steak ruin my life?”

A shaggy dog story with two rotten, teeth-gnashing punchlines. A first! And very likely not the last, more’s the pity. Keep ’em coming, though, Pete!

This repeats from yesterday, (unprecedented here, I know), but with some improvements:

ONE for a bug, who’ll be taking a break,

TWO for a sitting dog,

THREE for a cold-blooded long greenish snake,

FOUR for a giant frog,

FIVE for another dog, long in the tooth,

SIX for a kid (the haircut’s a pixie),

SEVEN for Norton (Art Carney, in truth), and

EIGHT for Ed’s lovely wife Trixie.