Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 16, 2019

Back in the the 80’s when every family had one landline, my family got a new number. I would give my friends the first 3 digits and tell them the last 4 digits were “10 years before the Battle of Hastings.”

Doesn’t rat make fun of goat all the time for reading?

1861

He couldn’t let either Suri or Alexis, who have been eavesdropping on his conversations, answer the question?

Reading Google on your phone still counts.

If I fail 3 times, does it permanently lock me out?

I thought Rat hated reading.

Coffee is a diuretic, hope you have a mop Rat….

These people confuse me

Rat, that’s a surefire way to get a lot of people pi$$ed off!

Mission accomplished! Thanks, Rat. I’m smarter now.

“I’ll Google it. What’s the password to your WiFi?”

Don’t be upset if he goes around the back of the building and pisses near your dumpster. That’s what I would do. IF I were a man.

That Pastis thinks this joke works in a world of smartphones dates him.

Rat could have used the War of 1812, but people would still get it wrong.

Mean while, cleanup in front of the dooooooooor…….

Wait till he finds he needs a code to get out!

What’s really sad is that with so many people having “Smartphones” to look stuff like this up, they have actually become DUMBER about KNOWING things! I have to wonder how well a current High School Class would do on a world history test like I had to take back in the late 60s if they had NO access to their phones, or Google, or Siri, or ANY means of looking stuff like this up, but rather had to answer the questions based on WHAT THEY PERSONALLY KNOW!!

It would be more appropriate as the anniversary of the event is just days away, to use the when the Revolutionary War started. April 19, 1775. When Paul Revere, William Dawes, and others rode to worn the people that the British were coming – to arrest Adams and Hancock and to confiscate their guns and ammunition stored in the town. We the People stood firm against a tyrannical govt and thus occurred “The Shot Heard Round the World”.

There are times this makes sense…

Let’s see… Some might argue that the seeds of the Civil War were sown in 1819 with the Missouri Compromise… beep beep Huh, nope. Wait, wasn’t that 1820? beep beep No… Okay, certainly the 1850 Compromise. beep beep Dang! Dred Scott in 1857? beepbeep No? Oh! Of course, Lincoln’s election in 1860. beep (dribble) beeeeeeep (dribble). Oh, never mind…

Not any dumber than the Discus Captcha questions.

1776?

put in a binary keypad

https://www.alamy.com/stock-photo-three-keys-keyboard-binary-layout-121716851.html

Whoops I misread that second panel as “dumbass”

My father’s zip code in South Philadelphia was 19148. I remember it still, as WWI: 1914-18.

During the Civl War, most of the rebel land was south of the Potty-omic River.

I can hardly believe I am agreeing with Rat on something. Then again, being someone who loves history it appeals to that part of my nature. With all the passwords we need to have for everything I usually use dates not only historical dates but also the birthdates of my goats – good like trying to figure those out! LOL

What colour was Washington’s white horse? What colour is a black mamba?

Horse colours are registered at birth. No horse is born white; some horses born gray subsequently grow white. Hence they are registered as gray.

Black mambas are very large, extremely aggressive poisonous snakes found in Africa. They are either slate gray or olive green in colour but get their name from the inside of their mouths — pitch black, meant as a warning.

For once I support Rat!

One time I was told that a 4-number numerical combination on a lock was one year after the year of the best Chevrolet ever made. I didn’t even need him to clarify, since I then knew he meant the combination was 1958.

Learned a short poem in elementary school:1861, the war begun …1864, the war was o’e’r,1865, Lincoln died.

So he doesn’t have a phone?

Use your smartphone to make up for your dumbness.

So google it on your phone

1861, that’s the year the civil war began.

As a famous philosopher once said, those who fail to learn from history end up doing it in their pants!

Or just Google it.

“Hey Siri…”

Rat is a very effective teacher. Why bother with the barista thing instead?

DAMN. I USED to be a “Civil War Buff” before my head injury!!! Is it . . . 1860?!? . . . RATS! A year off; it was ‘61! I do not deserve my bachelors! D’X

Well you’re only succeeding in incentivising googling.

I would get it. 1861 or according to some I think 1860

This would be more realistic if the guy just pulled out his phone and Googled it.

1861, the code for my garage door! What a coincidance