The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for July 21, 2019

Groan. But a good one!

How do you get the Wicked Witch to take the super big gulp of 44 ounces of water?

Did we mention he’s Australian?

REFUSES to go to metric.

You should meet his brother, The Pope of Pounds.

Took me a while to get this one, haven´t used imperial for about 45 years.

While you’re at it, Mr. Wiz, what do you say about this bar of gold in my basket?

Just keep pounding away at the puns.

Could you turn my eighth into an ounce?

Pay no attention to the man behind the counter!

I still don’t get it

All four of them need to lose a few lbs.

The Wizard of ml — ha.

…And your little half-pint, too!

I thought the going thing was to make the cups smaller but charge the same amount, not make them bigger! My gas station went from 32s to 30s, but started calling them Medium to dodge the complaints.

“Let’s gallon out of here!”

That’s a stretch!

Yay for the Standard English, American style!

The metric system is by far history’s most successful revolution, having spread over 95% of the world’s population since its official adoption by France in 1795. It did so without a shot being fired or a drop of blood being spilled, simply by virtue of being so sensible. This advantage has only been reinforced by the widespread adoption of electronic calculators, which are much better with decimals (the logical way of expressing things based on multiples of 10) than with fractions (which you can still find on American rulers and measuring cups).

The measurements still being used in the USA should not be called “the English system” for 2 reasons: (1) the English themselves have come to their senses and adopted metric measurements and (2) it was never a system in the first place. I refer to it as ACHU — the Accidental Collection of Heterogeneous Units.

Wonder what time it is – 7:11?

That Super Big Gulp will go well with the Duncan Munchkins

Now I’m sure we’re not in Kansas Toto.

Wouldn’t a 31-ounce be a Trent’uno? Still waiting for Starbucks to pick up my idea of having all of the Vegas stores replace Venti (20 ounce) with Vent’uno (21)…

So Large to a 30 oz with a one ounce overflow.

That’s gonna take a lot of ice cream to create a 40-ounce soda.

And a 6 foot tall fire hydrant for Toto.

Does the 40 oz. come with a paper bag ;)

Bahahaha!! This one made me laugh!! :D High Five Mr. Hilburn. I’m sharing this one.

I don’t get it. Can someone explain? It doesn’t seem to be a metric-to-‘English’ thing, because only the first one is. And in the US we do have soda bottles in liters (1, 1.5, & 2). In fact, the 2liter of soda was the first and only lasting thing to change to metric. Anyway, why would enlarging all the drinks be something Australian?

There are 28 grams to the ounce.

He’s taking extreme measures.

A Royale with cheese.

After all that, they’ll all be whizzers of Oz.

All these comments about imperial measurements and such seem to me digging too deep for the joke. I assumed it is just that he is the Wizard of “OZ” … the abbreviation for ounces. So the “gifts” he can bestow aren’t big time stuff like bravery and heart and brains. He can just give people more OUNCES of drink by super-sizing whatever size they have.