Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 05, 2019

Is Rat going to be his own lawyer?

This came up locally, recently. A hearse driver was using the car-pool lane, and when pulled over, claimed the dead guy as a passenger. Cop was not amused.

I would think it would be especially important to get the deceased to the graveyard without delay.

“Mama, just killed a man,

Put a gun against his head,

Pulled my trigger, now he’s dead,"

But, your Honor, my case belongs in Traffic Court!

Sorry, Rat. He was a person when you killed him.

Was this Steph, after one too many bad puns?

You dirty Rat!

This one’s darker than usual, and that’s saying something.

A corpse is a corpse of course, of course…

Hummmmm …. Does the law state that it must be a living person ? Getting technical now ! Croc Power !

Rat does seem to have other, more er, interesting friends than Goat and Pig!

They decided on the firing squad instead.

Ever been in a funeral home bathroom? They have his and hearse towels.

Seems twos a crowd here….

Our prisons are over-crowded with idiots who really do think like that. (I know because I had a couple in my family)

It might be a good idea to get a second legal opinion on that, Rat.

Oh no! Looks like Rat hit Pastis too hard this time.

Today’s strip should win a prize of some sort.

Dead people count in Chicago. Well, they vote, anyway.

Don’t you just hate it when you get pulled over and the cop notices the dead body in the back seat?

Can a pregnant woman use the carpool lane?

Bernie, is that you?

But Officer, he’s not dead. He’s just pinin’ for the f’jords!

Rat won’t get the chair? AW NUTS! I was looking forward to the Dead End Kids asking Father Jerry, “Did Rat really die like a rat?”!!!

In Niagara-on-the-Lake (Ontario, Canada) there is an impressive mansion at the north end of Queen Street where it curves west to avoid Lake Ontario. It was built at the beginning of the last century for a very successful lawyer from Buffalo named Penny. When the Depression struck, Mr. Penny was ruined and hanged himself from the chandelier in the stairwell.

Because he was an American citizen who had died in Canada, his family now faced double death duties so his grown sons packed him into the back of their Pierce-Arrow and high-tailed it to the border.

When they crossed the bridge, the Customs Inspector asked, “What’s the matter with him?”

“Oh, he is intoxicated.”

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My parents live next door from 1985 to 1999 (in a much more ordinary house) and I heard this story from both the woman who owned it at that time and from a gentleman who had “married” the previous owner, had moved out on that man’s death, and who used to walk his dogs past the house every day.

Well, technically, very few of the characters who appear in this strip are persons.

Sorry officer, but my passenger was dying to get home.

Is this a Schrodinger’s corpse dilemma? The thing in the back is alternately not/is a person until the cop checks.

Rat gets “The Trap” not “The Chair”

PBS characters are such thoughtful sophists! Socrates wold really have had fun destroying Rat’s argument….

Hospital board: “Misuse of the cadavers…”

Dr. Nick: “I get to work faster if I use the carpool lane.”

What have you done, Rat?

As if torn from this weeks headlines….. https://www.npr.org/2019/07/03/738384243/hearse-driver-gets-a-warning-for-carpool-lane-violation