Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 07, 2019

I’ll be happy to send Rat to Mars — NOW!

The problem is Rat wrote a negative hope.

Rat simply wrote the “Rat’s Emergency Action Plan”

Abandon the ship when it is feared the ship is sinking.

This is the way the world ends. / This is the way the world ends. / This is the way the world ends, / Not with a whimper but a kablooey.

Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids.. in fact it’s cold as hell.

he’s quite positive that he’s not feeling better…

Oh, we will be hit by a cosmic ray burst that will clean the planet.

Earth will be a better place after Rat departs to Mars.

Rat! NASA is looking volunteer lab rats to study oxygen deprivation studies in similar Mars conditions! Hero status, Bud!

Rat remember to take your “Debbie Downer” pills with you ! ….. Croc Power !

I wrote down my hopes for the future

Tolerance and peace

Prosperity for all

Alas none came to pass

In the Fall of 2016

Space is not the place to live. It’s freezing cold.

And you certainly don’t LOOK any better, Rat!

Rat, please take eight or nine million of your friends with you.

Mars is the name of a small town in western Pennsylvania. THEY don’t want Rat to come there! BTW, since Rat did some writing, why is he smudge-free in the last panel??

So long as you don’t die on the landing.

Once we get through with Earth, we’ll destroy Mars in record time.

Mars Needs Women

That I live for at least another six months, so I can finally see 2020.

He’s in the best selling show… Is there life on mars…

You can’t flee to Mars, silly. There’s no Starbucks.

The effort to geoengineer Mars to become barely liveable are far worse than the efforts necessary to undo the damage we’ve already done to Earth.

It’d be cheaper to make the deserts on Earth into Garden Eden than to create a space on Mars where a pair of humans could survive in the open for more than 5 minutes.

I’ve already booked my ticket. Now, I need to start packing.

I’m reminded of the Simpsons Halloween episode where Homer destroyed the earth, and they put the best and brightest (including Lisa and Marge) on a rocket to Mars to preserve civilization. However, Homer and Bart were able to board a second rocket, only to discover that it was filled with annoying B-List celebrities and being shot into the sun. Rat would have been on that second rocket.

At least you’d have company -Sheldon and Amy are going there, too.

The pessimism is getting old fast. Going to unsubscribe.

At least he’d have the Sarcastic Rover for company to snark with. (Check Twitter.)

Only half done. Next is to burn it without destroying anything else.

Mars is not a Bradbury world, and, though I like Matt a lot, I doubt anyone will grow potatoes in his own waste.

That’s because the moment you arrive, Rat, Mars will go kablooey while the moment you leave Earth everything will be fine here.

Rat’s hope is not unique to him, but it is out of the reach of most of us.

Just make it quick and painless….

Wonder if Rat’s familiar with Calvin’s Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooey … ?