Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 20, 2019

  1. Img 0910
    BE THIS GUY  almost 5 years ago

    Pig had been waiting for that opening for a long time.

     •  Reply
  2. Figaro 1
    Wilde Bill  almost 5 years ago

    That gave me a warm feeling. Am I wrong?

     •  Reply
  3. Missing large
    garcoa  almost 5 years ago

    Looks more like tell and show.

     •  Reply
  4. Catsanddogsportrait
    DennisinSeattle  almost 5 years ago

    “I also want to know, roughly what do we pay for electricity?” WHAM “And water?” WHAM<CRACK

     •  Reply
  5. Crazyforkedindianpalmsquirrel max 1mb
    B UTTONS  almost 5 years ago

    Pig has been interning with Guido the local loan shark muscle. Rat is lucky not to be left with busted knees.

     •  Reply
  6. Sylvester1
    Nachikethass  almost 5 years ago

    That’s quite rough!

     •  Reply
  7. Missing large
    Martin I  almost 5 years ago

    He should have asked for a ballpark figure

     •  Reply
  8. Missing large
    lordhoff  almost 5 years ago

    I think Pig’s been planning that for a while --

     •  Reply
  9. Brain guy dancing hg clr
    Concretionist  almost 5 years ago

    English isn’t too ambiguous. You have to believe that any language in which you can meaningfully say “The more I light my lighter, the lighter my lighter gets until it’s too light to light.” had to have been designed to be as ambiguous as possible.

     •  Reply
  10. Avatar 2475
    Troglodyte  almost 5 years ago

    We can safely say Rat was stunned with the answer?! :D

     •  Reply
  11. Quill pen
    Yontrop  almost 5 years ago

    But that was roughly roughly.

     •  Reply
  12. Missing large
    Ksandler4570  almost 5 years ago

    This one took me a sec, but I dig it.

     •  Reply
  13. 0804242
    James Wolfenstein  almost 5 years ago

    A hundred bucks?????? how can they afford it? it’s like ultra premium all-sports package!

     •  Reply
  14. Missing large
    rdav1248961 Premium Member almost 5 years ago

    Rat deserved it

     •  Reply
  15. A5c82879 d3bc 4b0f 8fdf 469116dd8a43
    MayCauseBurns  almost 5 years ago

    Looking at my cable bill makes me feel the same way.

     •  Reply
  16. Picture
    Breadboard  almost 5 years ago

    Well played Pig ! …Croc Power !

     •  Reply
  17. Picture
    WoodstockJack  almost 5 years ago

    It is not so much the interpretation that is lacking, here, as the inaccurate use of the language. Had Rat said, “approximately” instead of “roughly,” there would have been no problem, at all.

    "The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter. ’tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.”

    S.L. Clemons

     •  Reply
  18. Zero
    zerotvus  almost 5 years ago

    cable sucks!

     •  Reply
  19. 123631647 10157732280428316 4231990242952427275 n  1
    chris_o42  almost 5 years ago

    That’s just plain funny!

     •  Reply
  20. Photo 1501706362039 c06b2d715385
    Zebrastripes  almost 5 years ago

    Pig unhinged….now he feels better about himself!

     •  Reply
  21. Desron14
    Masterskrain  almost 5 years ago

    YEAH!!! GO FOR IT, PIG!!!!

     •  Reply
  22. Missing large
    Carl Rennhack Premium Member almost 5 years ago

    Today’s question: HOW ARE RAT & PIG ABLE TO PAY THEIR BILLS?

     •  Reply
  23. Pirate63
    Linguist  almost 5 years ago

    $100?? Rat’s watching too many PPV porn movies, again.

     •  Reply
  24. Apollo 11 launch 04
    Steverino Premium Member almost 5 years ago

    Ambiguity’s great. Used in advertising (and other forms of political speech) all the time. Their message is ambiguous, and your mind fills in what it wants the message to be. Example:Things go better with Coke.

     •  Reply
  25. Hopper oneal mini
    YippiKiAyMofo  almost 5 years ago

    Worth getting angry about!

     •  Reply
  26. Img 3686
    dsatvoinde Premium Member almost 5 years ago

    Reminds me of one day when I went to the in-laws house to pick up a twin bed they were giving to one of our daughters. At the time, they were hosting a foreign exchange student from Germany. I needed help carrying the bed out to the truck, so I asked the student to give me a hand. She paused for a minute and then said, “You want me to give you my hand?” That’s the point I realized that slangs do not translate in all languages.

     •  Reply
  27. Images
    Reader  almost 5 years ago

    He forced an answer from him, after all.

     •  Reply
  28. Missing large
    elbow macaroni  almost 5 years ago

    So unfunny

     •  Reply
  29. Calvplay   2
    Mentor397  almost 5 years ago

    I wish I only paid a hundred dollars a month for cable. Our company just responded to the growing threat of streaming services by raising our bill.

     •  Reply
  30. South park john
    OshkoshJohn  almost 5 years ago

    We cut the cable here. We have three cellphones, one for each of us, and a cellphone that acquired our old landline number. The telephones are all TracFones, costing $12.50/month.

    We dropped the landline and cable teevee, and kept only the Internet. Our bill from Spectrum (formerly Time-Warner) is $73/month. We added Netflix, Hulu+, and Amazon Prime, via streaming with a ROKU device. There was an initial saving of $60/month.

    That savings is slowing going away as prices for the additional services for streaming increases. However, we have have thousands of shows and movies such that we cannot possibly watch everything. I particularly favor the PLUTO channel on the ROKU.

     •  Reply
  31. Th 2434264126
    Snoots  almost 5 years ago

    Not only does cable TV turn your mind to mush… they actually have people paying for the privilege. That’s marketing for ya.

    Imagine what people might accomplish if they had to spend their spare time being productive, or enjoying family time, become artists or musicians or weavers or take up other interesting hobbies. Gasp… society might… mature!

    No no… let’s get serious now… heh heh. I’m such a joker.

     •  Reply
  32. 1017207 10200214106421862 492754112 n
    Cameron1988 Premium Member almost 5 years ago

    Wait, Pig, pays the bills???

     •  Reply
  33. Missing large
    mapleman  almost 5 years ago

    Old joke but still a good one.

     •  Reply
  34. Ellis archer profile
    Ellis97  almost 5 years ago

    I never thought I’d see the day.

     •  Reply
  35. Img 1610
    WCraft Premium Member almost 5 years ago

    I’m guessing Rat should stop running up big Pay-per-view charges!

     •  Reply
  36. 20141112 192913
    Aladar30 Premium Member almost 5 years ago

    GO PIG! HARDER!!!

     •  Reply
  37. 100 3924
    jessie d.  almost 5 years ago

    After looking at and paying said bill, you sure feel like you have been beaten up. Why can’t cable wise up and dump those egregious contracts and many who left for streaming and no long term commitments might return? But no they are still doing their “thing” which surely isn’t profitable now.

     •  Reply
  38. 8863814b f9b6 46ec 9f21 294d3e529c09
    mattro65  almost 5 years ago

    I would think the fact that they pay that much for mindless dreck would be enough to floor him

     •  Reply
  39. Img 20140309 081158
    Herb L 1954  almost 5 years ago

    Care for some salt to go with your battery,Rat ;)

     •  Reply
  40. Imagesca66di1a
    Thehag  almost 5 years ago

    Way to go Pig!

     •  Reply
  41. Mbsils
    marilynnbyerly  almost 5 years ago

    And that’s why writers spend so much time revising.

     •  Reply
  42. Nowyoulisten
    zeexenon  almost 5 years ago

    Very true, but if you’re trained by, say, the patented AT&T Human Resource Assessment Evaluation job, you are instilled with the joy of simple language taking the other person just to the point of stroke. And, I do not apologize to my Financial Advisor.

     •  Reply
  43. Missing large
    the lost wizard  almost 5 years ago

    Well screw me.

     •  Reply
  44. Screenshot 20200428 140547 google
    Mr. Snuffles' Accomplice Premium Member almost 5 years ago

    Pig must have been just like me last night, watching “The Irishman”

     •  Reply
  45. Photo
    David Peters  almost 5 years ago

    Inflection in spoken English?

     •  Reply
  46. Missing large
    Pointspread  almost 5 years ago

    That’s funny!

     •  Reply
  47. Win 20201204 12 32 23 pro
    oakie817  almost 5 years ago

    ka-literal

     •  Reply
  48. Thinker
    Sisyphos  almost 5 years ago

    Pig gives it to Rat roughly?! The world turned upside down!

     •  Reply
  49. Missing large
    hdcanterbelle Premium Member almost 5 years ago

    I never saw pig be violent before….or am I mistaken?

     •  Reply
  50. George jetson
    Bicycle Dude  almost 5 years ago

    Someone is paying too much for cable. Better yet, paying for cable.

     •  Reply
  51. Voo smaller
    chriscc63  almost 5 years ago

    or Betty White

     •  Reply
  52. Missing large
    Motormaniac  almost 5 years ago

    Just thinking of that myself during this morning’s commute. Who decided that ‘raised’ and ‘razed’ should sound the same, but with completely opposite meanings?

     •  Reply
Sign in to comment

More From Pearls Before Swine