Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for January 03, 2020

I thought I could

I thought ……………

Not enough armor on the dillo.

Bad choice of coloring. I thought it was the truck thinking it could. Didn’t make sense.

That’s why there are more than a few people. whose last words were “hey y’all, watch this”.

Especially in Texas.

“I think I can!

I think I can!

I think I can!

I … (SPLAT!!)

I think that hurt!

I think that hurt!

I think that hurt!

I think….."

his last words were, here, hold my beer a sec…

I couldn’t!

Armadillos are naturally optimistic because they can avoid most predators by simply rolling up. Kinda like porcupines and skunks, but with defense rather than offense. But they all splatter pretty much the same when a ton of plastic rubber and steel hits them at 60+ mph.

Their other survival skill is to jump straight up to startle predator’s, this doesn’t usually work out when the predator is a semi truck. Armadillos are one of Florida’s favorite road kills.

Armadillos represent an evolutionary glitch. A creature that developed to resemble a speed bump.

Optimists are often disappointed, pessimists are occasionally pleasantly surprised when something good happens. The rest of the time we know things won’t work and are not surprised by it.

I wish the deer around here were less optimistic. Although so far I’ve avoided disillusioning them personally.

I never wondered about armadillos until now. https://www.livescience.com/52390-armadillos.html

Once on a road trip we counted dead armadillos vs. small town WalMarts. I think the armadillos won!

Poor animal.

Upon reading New Year edition op-eds, the pessimists do seem to predominate.

In most cases of skunk road kill, the skunks are facing in the direction of traffic.

LOL

Kinda resembles Bernie Sanders.

At least the armadillo’s not staring at a cellphone while walking into traffic. Few weeks ago I was standing in line, waiting for the next available check-out, when the women in front of me had to physically prod her husband to look up from his phone as he was holding up the line. There were three check-outs available…

Not like pessimism ever improved quality of life either.

The human parallel to this is the oncoming traffic passing cars despite the solid line at the crest of a hill (or a blind curve).

Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the armadillo it can be done.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To show the armadillo it could be done!

I’ve read somewhere that armadillos have a jump reflex that gets them two feet off the ground…high enough to get hit and punted off by the vehicle.

The optimist anticipates the sunrise. The pessimist becomes George Carlin

Optimist-Maybe next time.

If you’re a pessimist, you’ll never be disappointed. :)

In a career where eating each year meant coming up with new services and products that customers would buy, I’d say I was led more by “Keep throwing [stuff] against the wall until something sticks” rather than optimism.

Disarmadillo.

But Realism is!

IthinkIcanIthinkIcanIthinkIcanIthinkIcanIknowIcanIknowIcanIknowIcanIknowIcanHEARTATTACKHEARTATTACK

Optimism is a good trait to have, but it should be balanced with a good dose of common sense.

Just once, I’d like to see a cartoon that portrays pessimism in a negative light.

Non-political today? Then I must be the only one who sees an image in the exhaust above the stack?

I always hated that story about the damn train. As a kid and as a parent.

After having a life defined by timidity, the armadillo wanted to come out ohf his shell in the worst possible way. Mission accomplished.

Texas Speedbump

You can be anything you want to be if you just try hard enough. :-)

The chicken is waiting on the other side.

Not really funny. Kind of Dark and Depressing.

Nothing quite as subtle as an armadillo crossing the highway, down south…

This cartoon makes it seem as though armadillos die on roads because they are slow afoot. Not true! Like squirrels, they are fairly fast. Unfortunately, also like squirrels, their eyesight and/or brains do not work well when crossing high speed traffic.

It was obvious that the animal was betting its life against a truck slogging against a hill.

There is a lot of truth in this particular strip, today. For 18 months, I was stationed in Louisiana, and I never saw a live one!