Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 20, 2020

Be better if you used the money for a vacation.

30 years of therapy doesn’t help.

“It Came from the White House”—Now playing.

I use my money on beer.

The trick w/ therapy is to find something that actually makes you feel better for longer than your time in the couch. I highly recommend a hike along a beautiful stream or river. If that doesn’t do it for you, try a hike to a high point that lets you see forever. If that doesn’t do it for you, I recommend you take dance lessons. In perfect seriousness: Dancing makes almost everybody feel better (and healthier as a bonus); and there are so many kinds that you’re almost bound to find one you enjoy. I dance contra, English, Scottish and a some international folk, and I can honestly say that coming home, exhausted from a hike or a dance feels better than most other experiences. (Yes, I’m skipping over one very important activity, but we all know what it is. No, I’m not talking about food. Though that can be great too).

aroma therapy can be soothing. for example, the aroma of bacon, pizza, and beer…

Yes. Life is very scary if you’re a pig. You never know when you get turned into bacon.

I never spent money on horror films… I fear my options are limited.

… used to have no one to talk to, now Pig can chat with his therapist AND have a comfy couch to curl up on.

Curly Bacon? Sound good with Curly Fries!

After the 2016 election the NY Times invited producers and writers from shows like ‘Veep,’ ‘House of Cards,’ ‘Scandal,’ etc to do a panel. They all said that they couldn’t have used a character like Donald Trump because no one would have believed it.

When was lif4 not scary? Golden ages are always seen through rose colored glasses.

That a boy Pig ! Have Fun .

Do those bills scare you?

I feel bad for Pig.

Reading gocomics is my therapy.

PIG a is SOOO delusional….poor dear!

Happy MLK day. Free atlas, free atlas, thank cod all nighty, free atlas.

https://www.gocomics.com/pearlsbeforeswine/2008/06/15

Now playing: “Looking for an Apartment”. Don’t see this movie if you have a heart condition.

Everyday is like a roller coaster, I hate roller coasters.

I’m not a fan of horror movies, particularly the bloody ones. Dark fantasy is as dark as I will go in fiction. I have to agree with Pig, too. The world is scary enough without horror movies.

Pig is working it out !!!!! lol

Still, not enough brain-eating zombies in real life.

Come on folks. Harry and Meghan is the feel good story of the year.

I’ve always said “why pay money to see horror movies or ride Rollercoasters to have the (expletive deleted) scared out of you, when life will do that for free on a daily basis.”

Piggy would save SO MUCH MONEY if he just sat on the couch, watched cartoons, and ate cheese-stuffed burritos with Coke! Depression cured!!! (Even as a 32 year old man, I truly am enjoying “Teen Titans Go!,” “Craig of the Creek,” and “Victor and Valentino.” Plus [adult swim] natch.)

The nightly news report is free and scary as hell.

That’s scarier than life.

That’s one of the problems with living in California, Pig. Everyone turns to “therapy” as the magic solution for all life’s problems. Heck, I even have a high school classmate who was quite a successful guru out there until he retired to a less expensive state. Life is a whole lot more than just “scary,” Pig. Live it to the fullest (and, please, dump Pigita _permanently)!

The problem with therapy is this: it’s difficult to de-stress while worrying about paying $200 an hour for therapy.