Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for February 23, 2020

Well, the deceased gave all he had.

Well at least the remains were evenly divided amongst them.

It’s a good thing there were only five beneficiaries.

Will there be a cremation or are they just going wait for spring?

The hat and scarf must have already been sent to Goodwill.

real time will hand out… one has 4 arms, one has 2 noses, one has 4 eyes, one has 6 chest buttons.

It always seemed strange that you’d make a person out of snow and then accessorise him with mostly Stuff We Can Melt Snow On.

The reading AND distribution as well.

Well, this just melts my heart…..they’re branching out to others….

Well you know the old saying, “where theres a will, there’s relatives!”

The one in the middle was excited when she heard she inherited one carat…

Up until the time I had my knee replacement, I bragged that I had all my original parts. Now I have signed away mineral rights to my body to my heirs.

Glad to see that he was an organ donor.

i dont guess i get this one

Did somebody finally fire at will

I don’t get it today. What’s the “punch line”?

Family born shortly after March 28, 1979 Three Mile Island nuclear disaster.

So, getting coal – like in one’s Christmas stocking – isn’t such a bad thing anymore…

Could somebody turn up the heat in here.

“Hey, four-eyes…”

Can’t say that I get the point of the multiple members. Everyone has them, but all different. —Is the implication that they’re recycled from the decedent?

Wasn’t there supposed be an old top hat, or did Frosty get that?

All fairly distributed too..

I’d be mad if I was the guy who got buttons instead of extra arms.

Some of them have four eyes and two noses?

Also four arms more buttons and more mouth? whaaaaa?