Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 30, 2020

To mix things up, go to a Dave & Buster’s; at least you can play arcade games.

Pig, you could have saved some money just eating at your local Applebee’s 50 times.

Back in the summer of 1998, my parents, older brother and I went on a continental U.S. road trip; didn’t go to ALL the 48, but at least we went to some U.S. (and L.D.S.) historical sites… none of which were Applebee’s.

If you ate 2 meals a day there, it would take 2.7 years to visit 1,990.

Neighbor Bob entered the country illegally and is worried his DACA status might be in jeopardy if he cross the border.

Just a PSA: Pastis’ movie, Timmy Failure, based on his excellent series of books, which he personally adapted the screenplay for, had its debut at the film festival just now, and premieres on Disney+ next Friday the 7th. Spread the word! It’s going to be great!

Most tourists want new experiences… but not TOO new!

That’s an astute observation by Pig.

Some of us like the slogan “the best surprise is no surprise” and my Applebee’s is good!

Pig do you have an outside tip ? … Croc Power !

At least it wasn’t all the Mickey D’s, in his neighborhood.

Pig, did you recognize any cousins on the menu?

I like to find local independent brewpubs. Great way to pick up the local flavor

I want a Grand Slam from all the Denny’s. Maybe I’ll start with the I-90 from Boston to Seattle, for a training run.

Applebee’s? No thanks. Now if you were talking about a time travel road trip to all the Bob’s Big Boy restaurants in the US…….

When you burp, can you burp the whole alphabet without stopping? ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ…????

Forget the “chains”….Take the tour again and this time focus on the unique, independently owned restaurants…the “mom & pop” places

I’m proud to say that Applebee’s failed in my town – as did White Castle & Red Lobster.

After trying all the Applebees, start on the Applewasps, or some other combination of fruit and hymenoptera.

I prefer to go to authentic places, as opposed to chain places.

Wonder when Pig actually did his tour? Per Wikipedia, there were only 1830 locations a year ago (other sources report a couple hundred fewer) and there has been a downward trend for several years now.

I see weirder pilgrimages on the news all the time. People are strange.

Every Sunday I eat at all the open Chick-fil-as in the country. And then the rest of the week I don’t eat there either.

I wonder if pig liked Applebee’ BBQ ribs.

I never go to Crapplebees, not since we experienced their bigotry. Screw them.

No way go to foreign countries till a few presidents from the present repair all of our mis-relations.

Wow, already managed all the US Applebee’s in a single day. Now Pig should look up any international Applebee’s and hit them as well. And once that’s done he should visit some places better to visit than chain restaurants. Try starting off with some of the places Neighbor Bob was asking about.

John Winter, now known only as Winter, doesn’t think that is too difficult of a task…

I wonder if Pig visited the one in Hickory NC

Pig is persistent. And his autopsy experience makes him the leading expert on Applebees! Sigh! What a distinction for him….

Reminds me of the Gumball episode where they took Richard to eat at all the fast-food chains around Elmore

I plan do do the same thing with A&W as a parody of “Starbucking”

Little did he know about the coming…