Herman by Jim Unger for March 23, 2020

There are some with no kids who are just about this obsessive.

“Tried to.”

No. I bought it some fishnet pantyhose so it can catch more fish.

Why did the cat’s use his shoes as a litter box

“Nope. Can’t forget what you never remembered in the first place.”

But the credit card didn’t.

Forgot the cat’s birthday? We have a cat?

Do we even have a cat?

You woke me up to tell me that?

“Since the danged thing has nine lives, for which one are we celebrating the birth? Oh, just get a bunch of mouse traps — it’s too fat to catch any the usual way.”

This would be funnier of it didn’t remind me of an ex-wife!

I thought cats evolved out of aether? Who knew?

No, it’s rigged as a piñata in the garage.

We have a cat?

Does that mean the cat is going to ignore him?

Guess what, so did the cat.

Would it help if I agreed to wear one of those silly hats and take it out for ice cream?