Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 17, 2020

Didn’t Terrance and Phil already do this on South Park ?

South Park is 30 years too annoying for us. Butt laughed at this strip.

Pig really needs to stop scratching his head with the hand holding the pen.

Athletic colleagues could hold their foot out in front of them and touch shoes. It might be a problem for the guy with balance issues.

If that’s some weird way of marketing pork butts, I’ll take 2 lbs.

The last several friends we met with, we just waved and stood at a distance. But I liked the meme about how likely virus transfer is, using various greetings:

Hug: 100% chance

Handshake: 80% chance

Fistbump: 60% chance

Elbow bump: 40% chance

Touching feet: 20% chance

Flipping the bird: 0% chance

I suspect the reverse is also true.

Wai

Salaam (touch heart, head, sweep hand forward)

Namaste

Japanese bow

European bow

Chinese fist and palm

Zambian cup and clap

And there are more.

Pig needs to try out the “wrestling head-butt” greeting on Rat.

What’s wrong with a wave and a “Hello”?

Best is ’SUP? at 10 paces!

But anyone who knows you wouldn’t care a rat’s a$$ anyway, Rat!

The ‘elbow touch’ is bad… When you cough, where do you cough into?

I am still in favor of “Live Long and Prosper” _|\/|

This one made me think of Ren and Stimpy … Happy Happy , Joy Joy Song ! ….. Croc Power !

A hug is not as dangerous as a handshake, but then again, hugging a used car salesman doesn’t seem right. —-I prefer a Japanese bow OR Mr. Spock’s “Live Long and Prosper” salute!

I never thought of that! LOVE IT. And how “American” that is!!!!!!

Gives new meaning to “turn the other cheek”

Nano nano?

Live long and prosper.

I worked in a plant with a guy who liked to moon people. One day the boss caught him in the act. He got a chewing out, but it was funny.

Fact: The moon is moving away from the earth at about 1 inch per year. One day, we’ll have no one to moon but ourselves.

Ever think of just waving?

When we moved to MN we noticed couples address each other from afar by last names: “Hello Smiths! Hello Jones’s!” Saves you from having to remember first names.

Vulcan salutes work well

The two look a lot like South Park’s Terrance and Phillip especially when then are bending over.

‘sup, y’all!

You just can’t beat the classics! ;)

East Coast Wave or nuthin’

Is the handshake another of those medieval things? If we’re both holding each other’s right hands, then we can’t grab our weapons.

Wow – that’s as close to Terrence and Philip as I could imagine. “Copyright lawyers on line 1 Mr. Stone.”

Just read about some hand to the heart gesture.

I’ll use the Queen wave…

It’s kinda weird if u see someone in the street and you are talking to them, but from 6 ft away. Then, someone else comes and they have to get 6 ft away too. It looks and feels so awkward.

The Chinese and Soviet border guards in Siberia would regularly moon each other.

Hey, Rat? The obscenely obese orange anthropoid ape has beaten you to that.

The Spaceballs references reminded me of the weird salute on 3rd Rock from the Sun. Anyone remember that one?

Where I live, abrazos y besos are ingrained in the culture, as well as the formal handshake. It has been very difficult for many people to adapt to this new normal.

It needs to be quick and directional, as there are plenty of situations where it’ll need to be done with a line/group of people (sports teams, wedding lines, etc). And should also be fairly universal. Some things are culture specific. The smile for one, is the default in the USA, but in some other countries (Italy and some other European countries) it needs to be among friends or earned – one might shake hands with someone they don’t smile at.

Dog greeting.

Yeah, I don’t think mooning will ever replace handshakes, too disrespectful.

But they have no mouth or nose, therefore not at risk?

The best solution I’ve seen is the star trek hand… “Live Long and Prosper.” You can take it literally by not shaking hands.

Yeah, it’s getting to the point where I’D GLADLY TALK TO SOMEONE I DIDN’T KNOW. . . EVEN FROM A DISTANCE.

I’ve never been much for shaking hands… or hugging… or cheek-kissing. Guess I was ahead of the curve.

I like the Wuhan foot shake: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zf5tGGD_6kA

“Avast” probably more appropriate than “Ahoy”.

Shake hands, I don’t think so.

Before the six-foot mandate, there was a no-shaking hands mandate. People at my cousin’s church decided they’d bump elbows and called it The Baptist Bump.

Why don’t we just run in the opposite direction when we see someone we know?

I like the idea of a butt bump much better than the fist bump or elbow bump.

I believe Rat on this one.

No. Pure and simple. No.

Dude. Terrance and Phillip did it. You’re soooooo late.

But, but, butt jokes?

We never see Pig make his comics on-screen, but he certainly makes a mess of himself. Wonder how he does it.

Musta been a sailor!

Option #3 would certainly make life interesting.