Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for April 14, 2020

When this is over we’re all going to need therapy for paranoia

The wise old man needs to get a computer and Wi-Fi so people don’t have to leave their homes, let alone travel.

“Wisdom”? I’ve got some wisdom that’s worth TRIPLE what you’re paying for it:

1 You never get out of something more than what you put in.

2 Liars need, (but don’t have) much better memories than truth tellers.

3 Find someone to love by doing the things you really love, and looking around to see who else is there.

4 The only thing that never changes is that things always change.

The guru also wisely uses the fishing rod for the Grubhub deliveries.

His ‘no physical contact’ policy tells me this truly is a wise man.

Ah yes, the new normal:

Divided we stand, united we fall!

Truth be told, Buttercup has never actually come within 6’ of reality, If he had, his blond doormat would have stood straight up and exploded.

Philosophy at arms’s length

If we learn one thing from this whole experience, it is that WE THE PEOPLE have the power. I will not go into the argument of what the government has done right or wrong in handling the pandemic in this post.

The reason we are defeating the virus is not due to any governmental policy. Victory is won by individuals coming together by staying apart. By taking personal responsibility and being conscientious in our hygiene, by being aware of our surroundings and by being respectful of other people and maintain social distance, we are defeating our enemy.

While the politicians finger-point in a battle of “he said, she said,” we need to stay the course. We need to give ourselves virtual high-fives for doing well in this fight.

I hike for enlightenment, and solitude, not to find enlightenment.

I’ll bet the more your asked what the meaning of life is, the more answers you can come up with and none of them are right.

Are you handing me a line?

We’re not cabling the news, either.

Nautical, nautical.

Yeah! you’re right about that. My therapist sits about half way across the room.

Oracle Fish was a key character in Japan’s Dragon Ball animated series that spawned the video game. It’s probably how the guru fills his discretionary time.

Enlightenment. Yeah right…not until I can get it with no strings attached.

Waiter could you send us down a couple of Coronas?

True wisdom respects science. You can believe whatever you want, just don’t get too close to me.

POW

I will give you the five words that I have lived by since I was a teenager (back in the stone age) … Don’t Let It Get You!

What about your regular every-day annoying?

From what I’ve read, paper can hold the living virus for some time. The guru isn’t as safe as he thinks he is.

Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean something isn’t out to get you.

Okay, this one is funny. Another cartoonist could learn a lesson from this. ; )

You probably don’t want to get any closer, he probably hasn’t washed his hands in some time much less taken a bath.

No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women

No fun, no sin, no you, no wonder it’s dark

Everyone around me is a total stranger

Everyone avoids me like a cyclone Ranger

I think I’m turning Japanese

I think I’m turning Japanese

I really think so

Issue everyone a 6’ pole, problem solved.

Paranoia big destroyia as Jim said.

Those cards need to be Disinfected before the Guru touches them.

gotta add here that Buttercup has now demanded his name be printed on each stimulus check. A pure grab for campaign headlines using corona virus as his bludgeon. He not only doesn’t care about the people who await those desperately needed funds, he also doesn’t care that his demand will delay those checks days longer than necessary. When will McConnell and his Congressional sycophants get off their knees and corral this megalomaniac before he totally destroys the country?