Heathcliff by Peter Gallagher for May 06, 2020

Very “intreeguing”.

A talking tree? What has George Gately been smoking now?

“Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer Sausage?”

I agree with the tree. I’d like to see that too.

who wouldn’t ?

“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!” (Talking tree from ’The Wizard of OZ)

Where’s the beef?

I wonder where Palmy (from “VeggieTales”) is?

I am trapped within a waking nightmare and the cat is the conductor of the orchestra that is my unknowable torment

I seek out the protein and pile my plate;

Chicken, roast beef, turkey, fork and sharp knife;

Ladle on gravy, tender like a wife.

I feel I’ve found my match, my true soulmate;

Such a beautiful spread; this must be fate.

After fighting hard to make it through life,

I know that this marks the end of my strife;

Now there is no hunger I cannot sate.

But one scent strikes me and hits like a tank;

If only my nose could shut like a clam.

I know there is only one dish to thank;

It makes festive tables seem like a sham.

An off-putting smell, a taste just a rank;

Pink and putrid, wholly horrible: ham.