Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for May 27, 2020

Oh joy i can’t wait.

When you vowed “for better or for worse”, you never imagined this, did you ?

“Not if I have anything to say about it, you’re not.”

I think she swallowed her nose.

RUN!

He must have kissed the Blahblahblahrney Stone.

Looks more like she has him by his short hairs!!!

“Oh look at that, it’s time for bed! Good night!”

This may just be an “end of life” moment.

I have a friend whose memory for minute details of his life growing up seem to expand in the telling. Things that may have taken moments take hours to relate.

Remember the time when people wrote things down in diaries and kept them secret? Now they post them on social media for everyone to see.

I don’t get it, maybe that’s why people think I am insane.

Ummm I just remembered I had a dentist appt…..see ya….

Ever notice no one speaks to you until you are reading?

That’s the German “gift”, which translates into English as “poison”.

Bob must be friends with my former mother-in-law. She could go on and on about people, and we’d have no idea who she was talking about. Or in a checkout line she’d tell whoever was near all about the family.

Bob will soon have the gift of “ wife smashing a vase over his head”.

If it really is a gift, she’d be looking forward to it instead of trying to cause a spontaneous aneurysm.

Time to unfriend this guy.

At that moment she wished she was reading War & Peace—it would hurt a lot more when she hit him with it!