Rubes by Leigh Rubin for June 27, 2020

How did they get the blanket over him with no hands? And for that matter, how did they get their hats on?

Obviously, someone put a slug in him.

Obviously he was assalted..

The City was salting the street, and he caught some overspray!!

Got any garlic?

Snail rail

He was slugged!

Home invasion.

Homeless; just sleeping.

How long did it take for them to make it to the crime scene?

Was he " As-Salt’ed"?

He made detective because he busted that ring of French Chefs.

Follow the slime trail

I would say, as detectives, they aren’t worth their salt.

As Kelly Bundy of “Married … With Children” would say, “The mind wobbles …”

I’ve got quite a few snails in my yard, at least when it rains enough, but never yet have I seen one jump. I don’t know if they’re even capable of letting go.

I really don’t get this. The fact that they’re snails must has something to do with it, I guess, but I don’t get it. He has no shell. There’s something I don’t know about snails.