Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 10, 2020

All is in advertising .

I’ll take a double shot of responsibly, neat.

I’m starting a line of vodka called Responsibility.

You can’t get the caps off.

and how does one drink “Responsibly” responsibly?

Bartender, Rat prefers to end his day Absolut with a Scotch and with a desire to drink Responsibly while some drown the day’s woe with Wine and others with a game and Gin.

And i named my car ’’Safely’’.

I’m on the wagon so I won’t drink responsibly.

There’s a bar near here called “The Lumber Yard”.

“Honey: I’m going down to The Lumber Yard to pick something up!”

Actually clever… only does any one meant to hear the message about being responsible ever listen.

Better than calling it Rat Poison!

Endorsed by Alcoholics Unanimous.

Rat in marketing? Sure, why not. Campaign manager for KW?

“Officer, I only drink Responsibly”

Clever Rat, clever!

We all need more responsibly in life.

Smart move. Sort of like the scotch aimed at the Punjabi market called “Kuchh Nai.” The joke is, that when a Punjabi drops in for a visit and the host asks, “What will you have?” to which the guest may at first beg off by saying: “kuchh nai,” which means “nothing,” the host produces the bottle of scotch. (And it’s not bad scotch.):

https://www.indiatoday.in/magazine/eyecatchers/story/19941015-kuchh-nai-new-deluxe-scotch-to-target-southall-punjabi-consumers-809791-1994-10-15

Back in the ‘70s, the age of K-Tel, I wanted to start a band and call it “Many, Many More”. Because that’s the line the used in every TV ad for those compilation LPs: “All of today’s biggest hits! From Helen Reddy! KC and the Sunshine Band! Jim Croce! And Many, Many More!”

Figured they’d have three options: stop using that line, include at least one of our songs on every record they advertised, or get sued for lying to consumers. (And I was kind of hoping they’d go for the second one.)

Many years ago, Brand"X" was created for the same reason.

Sort of like the bar named “The Office”.

I saw a story about a guy who made a fortune on long distance calls. You know people can get stressed out at hospitals and airports, and, before everyone had a phone on them at all times, when they used a pay phone there, the operator would ask which LD company they wanted. If they had been thinking, they would say AT&T or Sprint or whatever, but if they said something like “I don’t know”, “I don’t care” or “It doesn’t matter”, well this guy had made phone companies named I Don’t Know, I Don’t Care and It Doesn’t Matter, and he charged something like $8 a minute. So, a 5 minute call to your mom telling her that her new grandbaby came a month early but is OK using the I Don’t Care Phone Company would cost $40 or so. All this guy needed was a decent computer and modem (for the time), which, of course, he had.

Brilliant!

…crap…

… I was looking forward to another sad sack commentary on the world this morning…

Good idea, Rat. I normally drink responsively.

Back when TV ads were comparing their product to other, unnamed, products someone trademarked “Brand X”.

The face of American advertising changed almost immediately.

How’s he gonna market and distribute it?

Problem is, when someone calls for help saying, “I drank so much responsibly!” no one will help him

I can see a lot of new companies being formed. Drive the new 2021 Responsibly and your Responsibly dealer today!

There was a Soup 2 Nutz but with a brewery a few years ago.

Rat what will you call “Gin” ? … Croc Power !

I guess it’s rat progress there.

Great idea.

You can drink or you can be responsible, but you can’t be both. :)

That is way better than naming it “Andrive”…because everyone knows not to drink and drive.

Like calling a bar The Gym.

That’s brilliant!

There’s a town in Japan named Usa. In the ’60s and ’70s it was believed the name was chosen so that products made there could be sold here with the label: MADE IN USA.

Well, I guess the Gray Goose has flown the coop…..

Once in a while, Rat nails it : D

Im voting for Rat

Who is Moderation?

But it’s still vodka…

So, The Most Interesting Man in the World is now out of a job?

It sounds like an idea Ryan Reynolds would have for his vodka

A cat we had when our daughter was little once stole some roast beef. We got him a hedgehog toy from the pet store and named it Roast Beef.

kinda why I changed my name from “Will” for safety’s sake

Drinking responsibly is for the unimaginative.

Way back, there was a commercial for hair oil for men that advertised it was “better than that greasy kid’s stuff.” Soon stores reported customers were coming in asking for that “greasy kid’s stuff” and then someone actually put out a hair oil with that name since they didn’t have to spend a dime on advertising!

That’s the spirit.

Mad Magazine hatched the idea decades ago, proposing brand names like “Aloafa” bread, and “Apounda” butter.

Remember to drink responsibly (or Responsibly)? —Heck, just remember to drink!

A couple of old Government Construction Quality Inspectors that worked for me said that in Retirement they where going to find a Disabled Female Native American Veteran to be the President of a Company called “Others” because almost every Contract Drawing set has the note “Provided by Others” all over them.

It seems like a winning business strategy to me.

How about a beer called Just One, so you can tell the wife that you’re going out to have Just One beer?

At this point, Goat knows better than to think the name is a subtle reminder to drink wisely.

If he names his bar “Moderation”, they can drink Responsibly in Moderation.

And then drive responsibly. Full of responsibly.

most excellent

When you see the blimp…Think Goodrich

How about calling it Miracle vodka?

If it’s good vodka, it’s a Miracle.

I tell the police officer I drank responsibly

Just like Rats bar, moderation

I’ve had times in my life that I could’ve used some Responsibility.

hilarious

open a bar called “moderation”

Marketing wiles, people, marketing wiles.

Mine’s a virgin responsibly with a twist.