Herman by Jim Unger for July 14, 2020

Good thing she saved that popcorn strand from Christmas.

You just reminded me of pop-beads.

No need to keep them “safe” Henrietta…..we’ll buy two

Vaults are on sale for $495.

He took her shopping for jewelry at Woolworth’s. I kinda get the feeling she’s being just slightly sarcastic.

You can tell they’re valuable when they’re just lying out on the counter…

Having one’s cake and eating it too.

I had a friend who owned a moderately expensive car. Whenever we’d go out to eat, he’ parl it on the far side of the lot and ask for a seat by a window so he could keep an eye on it. He was constantly re-checking to make sure he locked it and lived in fear that it might get stolen or damaged.

I knew this car who owned my friend.

It’s all his vault!

And a cheap imitation, no less.

But they look so real! Somebody is going to rip them off you. I’m just thinking about your safety, dear.

I have always thought…why buy expensive jewellery if you are going to keep them in a vault? Just buy the imitation and let everyone think what they may.

one of my kids left a empty stereo box in their back seat in Nashville and the next morning the window was broke out.

I had a good friend who always wore this strange gaudy jewelry, and that became her “trademark” item— the gal with the fake jewelry (and she was big on making sure she was known and referred to as a gal, too). In her early fifties she woke up with a “tight throat” one morning, went to the doctor, and fought to live long enough to see her first grandchild born. The child arrived, a few days later she departed, and her daughters were going to keep a couple of pieces and sell the rest at a garage sale when they found out that her “wild fake jewelry” was all real, most of it antique, and worth a fortune.

I’m picturing her in the afterlife laughing her head off. She convinced everyone it was fake so no one bothered her about it.

Stop off at the candy shop and buy yourself one of those candy necklaces!

Is an imitation candy pearls?

So I can show everyone how cheap you are.

Can you get a vault appropriate to such a treasure?