Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 13, 2020

Pig is going to be a hero in a Dicken’s novel.

First, the kitchen, where the food is.

Then, the living room, where the TV is.

Then, the bathroom, where the toilet is.

Finally, the bedroom, where the dreams are.

My brother-in-law has problems with debtors prison. And he only needs $25 a month to keep out I’ll trouble. Too many other things like cigarettes and drugs to buy I guess.

Then Potter’s Field.

Save me a seat on the bus to Hel|,Pig

If it weren’t for this pandemic, I too would like to go places just like my older brother and his flight attendant wife do (good thing she went on maternity leave before the pandemic made big news; she delivered my second nephew a few days shortly after Father’s Day last month).

And if you think there’s no debtors prison anymore, you have not been a poor black person jailed (in lieu of paying a fine, because you don’t HAVE any extra money for that) for something like “tail light inoperative”.

Excuse me I got to go to the bathroom, but Rat has locked himself in it again. May I use yours?

“Someday we’ll be together

Yes we will, yes we will

Say, someday (some sweet day) we’ll be together

I know, I know, I know, I know…."

—The Supremes

He’s just back from his trip yesterday, to The Family Circus, where he squashed that squealer, Dolly!

Pig just say “NO” to the Debbie Downer pills ! … Croc Power !

Man, even someone like Pig knows how to bring someone down.

Pig the existentialist. Hell is other cartoon characters. Now I get it.

Then Azkaban.

The young women who clean our house once a month are barely squeaking by. This might be funny if it weren’t applicable to SO many people right now.

Up the river without a paddle

And finally, he’s going to get grilled.

Followed by the Soft Cushions & the Comfy Chair.

Doom and gloom! PIG! a take a pill and stop the negativity

Maybe someone will pardon him, then he won’t have to go to prison.

After that I’m going to need a handbasket.

At least someone knows where he’s going.

“So long honey, babe / Where I’m bound, I can’t tell / Goodbye’s too good a word, babe / So I’ll just say fare thee well / I ain’t saying you treated me unkind / You could have done better but I don’t mind / You just kinda wasted my precious time / But don’t think twice, it’s all right.” Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right: Bob Dylan (1962)/

Still missing the crocs.

Next stop, the slaughter house?

Are we bringing back Debtor’s Prison?

Poorhouses and debtor prisons are only seen on ghost shows, these days, because they are as haunted as heck.

A billionaire’s solution whitepaper heading to Congress.

Still a great attitude.

Just take a lesson from the President – he’s declared bankruptcy lots of times and just walked away from those bills! And now he’s a billionaire. Well, it’s a claim he enjoys making but doesn’t want to prove to anyone. I guess he doesn’t like to brag.

Worst type of type neurotic to meet in a bar: a realistic pessimist.

…or the butcher shop.

“Debtors’ Prisons” no longer exist, nominally, though a bad bankruptcy or the like can have much the same result as the 19th century solution.

Pig’s pessimism is profond….

sorry, those don’t exist

Panel five: “then, the electric chair”