Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for July 28, 2020

See that down line, Bob?

Guess who’s going to be blamed for it?

The guy at the head of the table always wins.

If the line goes up he takes credit and takes the bonus.

If the line goes down, he blames you and terminates you. He therefore gets credit for eliminating the problem and gets the bonus

It’s not a problem, it’s an opportunity! … to downsize in a way that removes either the less competent or the least brown-nosed. Or both.

On a ledge, in a chair with wheels…

5 ft to your right please Bob.

The feeling might be confirmed when you get up and try to get back in the building… only to discover all of the windows have been ordered locked tight. And the staff for that floor been given an early time off for the day.

Bob’s got a hygiene problem.

That’s the last time Bob will forget to wash his hands in the executive bathroom.

On the plus side, Bob finally got an office with a view.

Some people are Ledgendary!

There is a empty chair across from Bob. Did some guy decided to punch his own ticket.

Maybe it’s a demotion to the window washer position, which at least has the benefits of social distancing and avoiding the smell of hydrogen sulfide and ammonia from the boardroom.

Could be he’s just a copious producer of methane.

I’m sure this has nothing to do with the bird flu…at least one is still here.

Bob thought the job description read Hedge fund manager.

When the boss said ’we’re going to work remotely, Bob thought he meant work from home.

It appears to me that the CEO thinks Bob has B.O. Either that or the airing of grievances has taken on a new high.

That’s a mighty fine ledge you got there. Mine barely had enough room for me…and the boss. Yep. Mighty fine. I miss the boss.

Look on the bright side, now Bob can remove the mask.

Bob is lucky he works for a place that takes the virus seriously. I work for a company, in Floriduh, where social distancing is non existent. I am the ONLY one who wears a mask in meetings or anytime I’m up from my cubicle desk. I work with a group of selfish fools.

Ya’ think?

Bob was always bragging about thinking outside the box, then one day…

Much less likely to catch the COOVID-19 outside, so maybe Bob’s the standby.

C’mon Bob, think outside the box. Great chance to be the next Batman. From there, you can see all of Gotham, spot a crime in progress, remove the dress-suit disguise, and spring into action. Yo, Robin, to the Batmobile!

Yeah, maybe Bob works for Chevron. He’s about to experience the old white guy downsizing program. Just remember, Bob, it’s not the fall; it’s the landing. ;-)

it’s who you know and who you blow

“Funny,” thought Bob, “I could have sworn they said I’d be the hedge funds manager…”

Someone has to feed the pigeons ;)

He’s in the Tweeter section…

Hmmm … the other guy must’ve gotten an early jump on the agenda.

So the ledge on goes.

Bob was overheard expressing Sympathy for someone.

Poor Bob