Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for August 26, 2020

We can rule out professional criminal as a career for Calvin. He just doesn’t have the aptitude.

if you put your name on an anonymous (ransom) letter, you’re bound to be traced anyway… really smooth, Calvin

Smart as a fox .

I’ll bet Hobbes wrote that he wants a kiss, too.

At least he was sincere.

And he’s always braying to the world that he’s a genius!!!

And on the next episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals” we highlight “The Sincere Kidnaper”.

Like somebody who writes a bank robbery note on his own personal check.

Need a little practice at writing ransom notes, Calvin.

It might have worked better if he wrote it in the G.R.O.S.S. code.

But at least he’s sincere.

At least he did not implicate Hobbes as an accomplice or accessory. He could have intimidated Susie and let her believe he was part of a gang by adding “and Associates “.

“Sincerely”? Seriously?

That Calvin. At the end of the day he’s none to bright.

Calvin, you’re in trouble now. Instead of $100 Susie will kick your butt.

A ransom note with just a little too much information.

Of course you know, this means war!

Susie could always send Monopoly® money.

That’s one vain criminal!

Calvin? who’s Calvin? My names umm, umm, … Malvin! Yeah that’s it Malvin.

Calvin is not the criminal mastermind I expected him to be.

When Calvin grows up he’s going to be that dumb bank robber with his gun pointed to his own head “I’ve got a hostage!”

Does Calvin wish to win the Darwinian Award?

Sheer genius, Calvin.

Laugh and show your friends. You do have friends, right?

Calvin is the world’s dumbest kidnapper.

I think Calvin secretly wanted Susie to know it was him.

You’d think Hobbes would have caught that slight error.

Sincerely???

Be afraid Calvin. Be very afraid!

Sincerely and Cluelessly, Calvin

We’re using code names! Yeah, that’s it!

One hundred dollars! Does that mean this crime is now a felony?

It is particularly to be nefarious AND dim. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, Calvin is both.

Today was so LOL funny and really rather sweet and childish. I mean childish in a good way.

Calvin’s first ransom note, and he botches it up with a signature!

Calvin can stop waiting for his Mensa application.

This was in 1990, so you think Calvin has been released from prison yet?

She can find someone to beat him up for $10. Calvin needs to find a safer club hobby.

a) typical ‘smart’ criminal; b) if it were me, I’d just buy a new doll and label it Binky Betsy II

I agree “BE THIS GUY”. Ever hear of a kid being so smart they’re stupid?

“Hmmm…out of all the Calvins in the world, which one could it be?”

This reminds me of the bank robber who wrote his note on the back of his pay stub.

Do you think that Calvin and Susie get married when they grow up?

See note. C-note?

Sincerely Cal, you’re not cut out for this! :D

Hmmm. This one is quite the mystery.

At least Calvin was sincere about it.

Politeness counts when you’re extorting someone.

The fool should have signed it “ Calvinn”. That would fool Susie!

His smarts, however, match the average career criminal almost exactly.

Didn’t that happen in Cerebus once? He was reading a ransom note and it was signed. Cerebus broke the 4th wall and said “You signed a ransom note?”

Whoops…

Oops. One more for the “stupid crook” files…

The sign off gives up the plot. No point Calvin expecting anything from Susie.

I’m new how do you get a prohile picture!!!

C’mon, Calvin. That’s like The Penguin leaving his umbrella at the scene of the crime. Riddler and Joker would even be more careful then that.

yOu cAnNot fiNd uS -calvin