The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for August 05, 2020

Aphids are vampires so no rose petals were eaten.

The Japanese beetles are not leaving us enough to make minimum quota.

He’s still bringing his “A game” – gotta stay ahead of those bphids.

Bring on the ladybugs.

Why is it so easy to say “Joneses” but doesn’t sound right to say “Aphidses”?

I simply cannot work with those beetles. They’re just so full of dung.

and those ants are such slave drivers…

Yes. the situation was a thorny one.

This entire document is an aphidavit.

This is why I wait until the ladybugs come out of hibernation to clean up the dead plants from last year.

My pussy willow was been eaten by some bug. So I googled … and that was not the results I expected. It turned out to be the ornamental Japanese Beetle.

The good news is she won’t have to make dinner.

So this isn’t about an irregular heartbeat?

Another Entomologist heard from …

You do know dear, The Plant closes for winter each year.. quit yer bitchin,

I can hear the laugh-track running even as I type.

The ants are milking this one for everything it’s worth.

 Thank you for putting the apostrophe in the correct location, unlike about a zillion rural mailboxes I’ve seen.