Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 03, 2020

You want to have a wonderful day? Turn off your phone.

Pig’s real name must be Marc Antony; he’s the King of de Nile.

You go, Pig! You never know what a new day holds.

We should all try to be like Pig. Optimistic!

Not checking your Twitter feed, will be a good first step.

Rat’s Twitter feed is full of bookies and casinos looking for him to pay off his debts.

For the last several years, if I want to have a wonderful day, I leave my phone in the vehicle at the trailhead parking area…

I’ve never checked Twitter.

Today’s Monday, Pig. You sure it’s gonna be a wonderful day?

Well, if the Odious Orange Orifice doesn’t tweet then yes it could be a good day!

I wonder if Rat played the exotics on the crap table ala James Bond (10 and 11 the hard way, box cars, snake eyes etc) or if he bets against someone like Pig to roll his point before he throws his 7…..

Ignorance is bliss I have heard !

Twitter: knee-jerk reactions to asinine comments.

Sorry, gamblers. Luck doesn’t change. If the odds of a fair coin fairly tossed turning up heads are 50-50, the odds of getting heads on the next toss are still 50-50, even if it just came up tails 100 times in a row. Like Rat, I learned that the hard way.

Luck and social media mobs both have a hair trigger.

I’m always afraid to check mine, but I can be so mouthy.

Soooo, there goes another prediction PIG got wrong….Poor Pig!

Why haven’t ZEEBA and the CROCS, PIGITA, and the DUCK been showing up? Long time no see!

So Twitter Feed is a bunch of gobbledygook ? Don’t do Twitter so I don’t know ;-) … Croc Power !

The roulette wheel has no memory.

Thank God I don’t have Twitter.

Too bad, Pig. 90 more days. . .

For his second term . Great , Great Go Trump .

Goat should have had Pig’s line, with Pig’s expression still frozen in extreme joy.

I must not be the only reader who doesn’t like Pig being a downer, as now he’s being happy; but not in a brain dead way

Wait? What? “Twitter Feed?” You have to feed it? Just another reason I don’t have it. It’s hard enough these days to feed myself.

you can do what they have done in some countries; go out to the streets and protest and that will make the disease go away. Kinda disappointing that happened

If it weren’t for BAD luck Steph’s characters would have NO luck at all!

Knew a blackjack player who would, every once in a while during the course of the evening, get up and walk around his chair three times before resuming playing.

I asked him if that changed his luck. “No,” he said. “But it helps relieve my leg cramps.”

Yes! May we all have a good day today!

143

Any day you’re alive is a good day!

Life can’t possibly get any worse. Can it?

Okay, day 122 has got to be better. I’m due.

The weather report isn’t looking good either for those of us on the East Coast.

Nor any news feeds from Portland.

The President claims that he meant to Tweet “LKD:LK*DOK” and that those who he meant it for will understand it…

Don’t spend your last twenty bucks on a lottery ticket just yet…

More Crocs! More Li’l Duck and his Girl Scouts!

What you don’t have, you don’t need to worry about checking.

My count of bad days is 1291 with, hopefully, another 169 to go.

Twitter is for twits or twats…take your pick.

Don’t have Twitter, and I don’t ever want it!

“If it wasn’t for very bad luck, I would have had no luck at all.”

How long can you maintain a positive outlook? Can you outlast Pig?

shrek costume is pog