Rubes by Leigh Rubin for August 12, 2020

“Talk to the hove.”

He will give you a good reason to run for your money. Money hogger.

I don’t care what kinda pork they fed you in college. Now get out there and start makin some bacon!

I wouldn’t bank on it.

If he had a nickel for every time mom said that…

Maybe knock some cents AND cents-ibilities into him…

He’s going to do what all the other banks do. Steal from their customers!

Oh Mom. Not everyone can be a quarterback.

Are all the piggies bankers?

Let him sleep. He was up late burning, defacing, and tearing down statues.

Cents-less threats of violence.

“The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to

say which was which.”——George Orwell

He’s slotted to do this forever.

Nope.. he’s the product of a bad deposit and nothing can change that now.

They had to hock everything they owned to keep him living off the fat of the land.

My my sounds like my generation

Gonna be more difficult to knock some cents into him with this coin shortage.

Is this how clichés are coined?

That was kind of a long walk.

The Canadian government hasn’t made cents in years.