Close to Home by John McPherson for September 16, 2020

That gal has a problem. Time to find a new roommate Holly.

My first year in college my roommate completely decimated my colored Marker set. Then he told me I needed to get a new set because they were used up. I hadn’t used them once lol. I just shook my head and said okay and left it at that.

She should be tested for OCD.

It took four to wipe the sarcasm off her face. Either that, or Bleeb took off with them. (Could be why he isn’t here today…)

Go directly to the housing office. Do not pass Registry. Do not visit the bursar to check on your scholarship. Go directly to housing.

Your choice, 4 tissues, or snot allover the rug!

That’s because she’s at U of M. She would be with a better class of students at Michigan State.

Captain Queeg’s niece goes to college.

Is her last name Queeg?

At PSU, we were stuck with ‘that’ roommate for a semester. We had tri-semesters back then 12 total senester). I went thru 10 roommates. Two of the semesters, both in spring, I had my own room. I was really unlucky with roommates.

Hey wait…..do you think that maybe…..? Nahhhhhhhhh. :)

You could avoid this problem by switching to handkerchiefs.

You miscounted, I put them back after I used them.

I want to know how she put them back last night that they’re so neat this morning.

Definitely need to social distance from her

It’s Wednesday and another rerun, so cartoon boy is still on vacation. That’s okay, as long as he finishes re-staining my Gazebo. Welp… on with entertaining ourselves.

So this guy takes the bus downtown to his office, and his bus stop is still one block from his building. Walking that block to his office takes him past an asylum with this ten-foot tall wooden privacy fence that runs the length of the block. While walking down the sidewalk, he can hear some guy on the other side keeping up with him as he walks. All he can hear is: “nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein.” He can’t really see between the fence boards, but thinks to himself, “hmm, he must be speaking German”, and he keeps walking. Finally, at the end of the fence, he sees a knothole in one of the boards and stops to look through it. All of a sudden, he gets a finger poked in his eye from the other side… and he hears: “ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten!”

Are we gonna have issues that require tissues?

Time to look for a room off campus. Hurry!

Move now before it’s too late…….

Cry me a river.

You’ve been quarantined too long when you start counting the tissues in the box. Although this is pre-pandemic, it’s appropriate these days.

Where are their masks?

Oh, cry me a river. Uh, wait, you don’t have quite enough tissues.

I’d say she passed her OCD test.