Close to Home by John McPherson for December 01, 2020

Bleeb is showing you if you’re going to kill them go with the cheaper ones.

I too have purchased several nursery grown plants that never made it, & I don’t have a green thumb either. Sort of explains it all.

Bottom line, plant hate me. And I don’t blame them hahaha

My dandelions did pretty good this year.

That’s what I call honest pricing.

Which shelf has the scented plastic and silk plants?

I think my girlfriend has a brown thumb. She’s pretty good at killing plants. My ex-step-mom had a black thumb. She could kill any plant quickly including cactuses. She even tried using those auto feeders and still killed them. Lol

Have lots of natural plants outside that get watered by the rain. I don’t care for potted plants, inside or out, because I don’t remember to water them often enough

finally, truth in advertising!

People kill them with kindness. First thing many do is repot them. Bad idea. You need to get the plant acclimated to its new surroundings before shocking it by transplanting. The other big mistake is thinking that a plant is a fish and pouring thousands of gallons of water on it. As it dies they pour more and more water on it to complete the job.

I know plenty of folk who shop for plants like this!

How much for plants that will kill you?

My well water tastes delicious, but certain potted plants will die with one or two waterings, so have to use rain barrel water. I have been told it is too salty.

Wanna talk ridiculous? I’m watching my ‘little girls’ trying to push out their first blooms after about 3 years. Christmas cactus. Started from cuttings. Talk about excruciatingly slow growing.

Or you can simply forget to water them….

I’m rooting for the plant.

Use music to help your plants live longer. However, plants prefer classical music not new age stuff. Marijuana prefers the Stones music.

Crabgrass and poison ivy are on the next shelf: “Plants that will survive no matter what.”

Obvious lucrative business opportunity in the making. One stop Target Shooting Range and Plant Shop

“Excuse me ma’am, but would you by any chance have an Argentea Columnaris Augustifolia Tomentosum?”

“No, I’m sorry, but we don’t. But we do have this lovely Croceus Fragrans Tradescantia Spathacea.”

“Oh my, that does sound nice, but there appears to be a weird looking yellow bug over there by that Rubens Saxitalis Nana Maculata… oop, never mind… a big spider got it! WHOA! That yellow bug is dragging that spider by a leg over into those plants over there… that does not look like it’s gonna end well for that spider! I’ve never seen anything like that before! So… can you show me a nice cactus, then?”

I have a bonsai plant that I didn’t ‘bonsai’. It is over 30 years old and six feet tall. I have had to cut it back several times when we have moved. I have another plant that I got from my dad’s house when he died in 1981 ~ it is still going strong and I’ve given many cuttings to people. They like me!!

About 20 years ago, I bought a dracaena in a 4" plastic pot at the grocery store. It rapidly out grew the pot. My son and I planted it in the yard. It is still going strong and now taller than the house.

Plants you’ll smoke in 3 weeks, $45

I used to have a green thumb but it’s turned brown…

That’s kinda buzzkill.

The one on the right next to Bleeb looks like a succulent, they’re pretty hold to kill.

So so true!

Those $25 plants look like something you should eat or smoke.

The deer ate most of my plants. They even got the ones by my front door step that required them climbing stairs to eat them.

I’ve even killed a terrarium! Waving back at you Bleeb!!!!!!!!! :)

plastic

Accurate.