Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 12, 2021

At least Pig has a good reason to stay in bed the tomorrow.

Don’t worry, Pig; you know how weather forecasters often get it wrong.

Pig has is personal “weatherer”. I know, this word don’t exist.

All weather men should be this honest.

Rat hacked into the local news stations’ teleprompter scripts again.

“The weather tonight, DARK! Continued darkness with widely scattered light in the morning!” – Al Sleet, The Hippy-Dippy Weatherman, (George Carlin)

Pig should be used to it by now, though. I expect it would feel wrong if things started to go right.

Don’t worry, Pig. There are about 654.3 million pigs on this earth, so there’s a fair chance he isn’t referring to you.

At least the weather announcer got that prediction right.

The way this ‘works’ is if Pigita took the job as the TV meteorologist, and threw in a personal dis knowing he’d be watching.

The meteorologist could have said; “Pig your life will be full of dark clouds and stormy days.”

To quote George Carlin, “ the forecast for tonight is dark…continued mostly dark with widely scattered light in the morning”

A life forecast from a “weatherer”! Well, into each life some rain must fall!

What I can’t understand is why the weather report is divided in two segments.

He’s gonna tell you how your day is going to be, Pig, weather you like it or not.

As an aside, I just realized that they ware watching a large, console-style TV, very much like in Peanuts. I mean, is this 2021 or 1971?

I dunno weather I can trusts the meteorologist.

What does the weather have to do with meteors? I often thought that!

The real problem is that Pig should be on a bright yellow pillow/cushion

Then he could be “Sitting on Sunshine WHOA!”

With apologies to Katrina and the Waves!!

Optimistic Rat to Pig: “You’re going to have a normal day.”

Pig get out your bottle of Nitrous Oxide Gas and take a hit first thing every morning ;-)

We’re with you Pig, hang in there.

take heart pig, he’s wrong 95% of the time…….

how did he know that pig was watching?

Most accurate forecast. Cant be accused of false advertising.

That weatherman must have it in for that little piggy.

METEOROLOGISTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I heard the same forecast here, except for zero chance of rain for the next six months

Pig isn’t surprised and no reaction from Rat either….hmmmmm

Lewis Black did a bit on weather forecasters. I forget the exact set up, but it was something like, "I want an easy job. I want to be the weatherman in San Diego.

And now over to Lewis with the forecast. Lewis, what’s the weather going to look like for the coming week?

Lewis pauses and then says “Nice! Back to you.”

Of course, it’s a lot funnier seeing him do it.

Funny thing is, the one I time I did go to San Diego, it was actually chilly and kind of dreary.

The weatherer man didn’t give the probability for Pig’s life – there is a 110% chance of nothing going right in your life, Pig.

Whether the weather be good or whether the weather be not / Whether the weather be cold or whether the weather be hot / Whatever the weather we’ll weather the weather / whether we like it or not.

The meteorologist didn’t even give pig a percentage for that.

Another person who needs to stay in their lane.

An obvious forecast— at least part of it.

You will be hit by a meteorite.

As Bernadine Rae Dohrn & Bill Ayers said, “You don’t need a WEATHERMAN to know which way the wind blows!”

Now that’s news you need to know…..

Have these two ever had any type of furniture to sit on?

Meaty urologist… an over weight urology specialist.

After a couple of semesters of meteorology at UW-MSN and a summer job at the weather bureau and climatology office in the ‘60s, I enjoy things like Weather Underground’s “Rain will begin in 80 minutes.”

He’s probably right about Pig.

Meteorologist is an expert on meteors. How can he forecast the weather?

Don’t worry, Pig. There is a 70% chance of the forecast being wrong.

The Hippy Dippy Weather Life Advisor

I’m so old I remember when weather people just said “rain” or “snow” or “sunny” or whatever. Chancy, and subject to really unhappy viewers. Now they put a percent on it, and unless the odds are 100%.. which they never are… they always have wiggle room. Way to fudge your predictions, guy. “Well, I only gave it a 95%”. Cowards.

“Here’s what’s happening in your neck of existence.”

This is definitely not a good thing to hear.

Whether the weather be fine, or whether the weather be not,

Whether the weather be cold, or whether the weather be hot,

We’ll weather the weather, whatever the weather,

Whether we like it or not.

by Anonymous.

Pig is such an easy target, how could any self-respecting meteorologist not take a shot?…

I’m just glad to see that there is something besides that one single pillow with the white pillow case! And more than just one!