Close to Home by John McPherson for May 08, 2021

Hoping on that sofa Honey. Isn’t going to help you.

“Close to nature.”

Don’t shoot them, you’ll just make them mad.

“Realestatophobia.”

caveat emptor

Watch it Bleeb- Bugs from The Outer Limits*

Welcome to Australia, mates!

Well at least there shouldn’t be any bugs in your house.

Moral of the story: Never buy anything “as is” because “as is” means it’s a ripoff.

Bleeb is mere bug food…

Let’s eat Grandma. Let’s eat, Grandma. Grammar matters.

Run bleep

Watch out Bleeb! Those varmints might eat you as a snack!

Okay, I’ll admit that’s pretty bad, but at least they aren’t snakes.

EEEEEKKKK! Heebeejeebees!

They’re going to need to hire Terminator/Exterminator with his flame-thrower.

Well, with spiders you will not have any other bugs, some good news.

Can’t wait to see the size of the bed bugs!

You got uzis full of Raid?

Those spiders are as big as you see on Jumani.

You decided to waive the inspection, didn’t you?

Wait! A couple of them have 6 legs and the others have 8 legs. I would like some consistency here , please. Charter member: Cartoon Spider Leg Counting Society of North America.

Bit of a bug problem, I would say….

Quick – call Joanna and Chip Gaines – let’s see them FIX this one!

Giant mutated roaches!!!

A Fixer-Upper is always “As is” and that’s why they are more affordable if you’re willing to put in the sweat equity.

But that level of pest infestation should have been included in the Disclosure Statement.

Arachnifi…. Arachno…. Arachnofo….

Whatever…. where’s my stompin’ boots!

If I’m remembering the story correctly, many years ago a court ruled that the sellers failing to disclose that a house was reputed to be haunted was grounds for invalidating a sale. If that’s the case, then failing to disclose the presence of ginormous spiders is definitely grounds for invalidating the sale.

First zombie, now giant spiders? Bleeb, you have to get a better travel agent.

Quick Honey, Google “What Eats Spiders?”

Apparently they also omitted the fact that there’s nuclear reactor in the neighborhood the recently had a breach.

Fortunately they haven’t unpacked yet.

…mixing insects & arachnids…

Think about this: they are so heavy, they FALL though the ceiling. If one gets ahold of you, you are dead meat.

Shortly after we moved into our home, I saw a tarantula in the bedroom and thought my hubby was playing a joke on me…..and then it moved!! I often wonder if the former owner’s son had a pet tarantula that got loose, and that’s why they moved out.