Herman by Jim Unger for May 12, 2021

That’s a pork chop. Okay if you say so.

No. Go ahead and eat it if you want.

That pork chop seems complete with bristles.

Bury it in the back yard?

“I tried to throw it out, but the trash collectors threw it back and told me they can’t take it. Then I tried to hide it in our compost pile but the next morning it was laying outside the pile like the compost heap itself rejected it. At that point I put it back in the fridge until I could think of another plan…so yes, go ahead and eat it!”

Save it! Someone will use it in something!

Flashback to the days when George Carlin was funny, and his “Icebox Man” routine

Eeeeeewwww! :P

It’s a science project.

That depends on what you mean by “special”.

The vultures passed it by and even the maggots are gagging on it.

…Saving it for a special occasion…

It has self-garnished. Just microwave for a couple of days and enjoy.

She’s waiting for it to achieve sentience, at which time she’ll divorce you, take half of your sh…tuff, marry the pork chop, and move to Bal Harbour until the money runs out.

But to answer your question, “No, no special plans…”

If you do, better do them quickly.

Donating it to the local high-school biology class.

Yeah, either your supper tomorrow night or the dogs dinner…

Make penicillin.

Eat it, it sure looks like it should provide all your nutritional needs.

It looks like road detritus. Call in the buzzards. But then men when they are hungry are a giant vacuum prowling for anything edible.

Now you have pork chops and mushrooms.

Yes dear. Poisoning you.

No go ahead and eat it. Maybe you’ll get sick and croak

If you’re going to eat that, wait till you are in the hospital parking lot.

Laboratory analysis?