Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 12, 2021

One more reason not to have kids.

Sing along with Basil: “Everything is awesome . . .”

Isn’t arguing with I.R.S. the worst could happen?

Winning lunch with Stephan Pastis in a white elephant auction.

And this is just days after Tom Scott’s video on the “Lego Beach” in Cornwall.

I think anything involved with extreme heat at times longer than seconds is painful enough.

Summer with Covid.

It’s not that bad, dang. Bring on the Legos, that only hurts for a few minutes.

My parents had to worry about jacks!

Second worst? “Barry Manilow’s Greatest Hits” playing while one is enduring extreme constipation and haemorrhoids.

I posit the worst is falling from a sidewalk to the grass (less than 6 inches?), landing wrong, overcorrecting, and not only severely spraining your ankle (torn ligaments and muscle tissue) but also breaking your fibula too. It’s been a couple of years and my ankle still isn’t the same. I have the occasional ache and it’s oddly still swollen in a couple of places.

All that and I can’t blame a Lego!

Rat and goat have no imagination. Legos are pretty sturdy so how about stepping on half of one… and finding the other half while hopping around on one foot trying to get the embedded fragment out.

What’s with the panel borders these days?

Second Worst: Getting a mustache hair caught on a beer can pop tab!

Legos are nothing. Try spilling a cup of Grape Nuts.

If you have children who play with Legos then you’ll know that it’s a constant battle. You must be ever vigilant. To safely cross a floor barefoot in a darkened room you’ll know that there can be no piece.

If that is the worst (that you can think of), then you have it pretty good.

I prefer the wurst.

Stepping barefoot in a pile of “cold oatmeal.”

RAT is bored…

it is pretty painful

It scares me when I agree with you, Rat.

Perhaps better than stepping on jacks though, no? (admittedly, I never understood the point of that game. But I also don’t understand hopscotch either.)

After you step on enough of them it you become numb to the pain, yes, I speak from experience.

I’m a lego collector, and let me tell you, it’s NOT a good pain to step on those floor colored bricks.

Think that’s the worst thing? I ONCE STEPPED ON A KNIFE WHICH’S BLADE WAS FACING UP. STITCHES.

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A well-chewed Nylabone with spiky ends is right up there.

Any pet byproduct, or a poisonous snake

NOTE: I personally would have qualified the question with the following phrase, “as an adult,” though I know the present question implies it.

Personally, the worst thing to me: “losing your entire life’s financial savings and investments.”

Loss of a relative. No contest. At least with a lifetime in jail you can still maintain a (VERY specific) lifestyle and have friends. With a debilitating illness, you don’t have to put up with it for long before you finally answer the mystery of death. But losing my mom or dad? Very few people I know ever get over that. I sure as hell know I wouldn’t and thank every day I still have my parents. Tomorrow is never promised.

Even though I’m still a kid, I have stepped on a lego barefoot, and couldn’t agree more with rats sentiments here.

Rat is the patron saint of first world problems.

I think Denmark is getting revenge for all those nasty things said about Vikings

In the “stepping on…….with bare feet” category, I would like to nominate the common backyard slug.

I cried because I had stepped on a lego, then met someone who had no feet.

The worst thing that can happen is ending up penniless.

Woosies who think Legos are bad have never been around jacks. Many eons ago, some one asked “What are we going to do with all these war surplus caltrops?” and some one else said “I know, let’s sell them as toys for little girls!”

Got to agree with that. It happened to me. Thankfully, none of the grandkids have Lego’s at our house. Only problem is that our grandkids are real slobs

I love LEGOs. I have been playing with them for as long as I can remember. And I have stepped on them before. While I can understand that some people may find the pain to be severe, I can say (with a straight face, mind you) that it does not hurt that much. I have slept on piles of LEGOs in the past, and I have walked in my room while they carpeted the floor. I don’t know why, but they never hurt me that much.

Good thing I was never into Legos

Almost as bad as having every other comment here being written by a political troll constantly demeaning the right…

Back when our kids were growing up, we also had ferrets. Lego pieces still keep showing up in strange places.

Rat, you need to Lego® of the past!

Never had a Lego in this house – been here 50+ years. How about a roofing nail, with that collar on it – so it sticks straight up?

I’ve lost all my relatives [immediate family] but my brother and he is 1500 + miles away. I do miss them.

At least kids don’t play with jacks anymore.

I’m beginning to wonder if something bad happened in Pastis’ life.

STOP me if I’ve told this before. I was honestly surprised when I noticed people making this gag on the web. Why well simply because growing up with a brother and cousins who all loved legos I knew you didn’t leave them out and you definitely didn’t step on them. Because most early mornings my older brother and I played while mom slept. One day I stepped on the corner of an upside down six dot brick it puctured my heel. All I said was “ow” we both stared at the blood and he never left legos on the floor again. Oddly enough we never felt the need to mention it to mom.

My mom sewed in the living room and left stray pins in the carpet. Way worse than Lego on little bare feet!

If the temporary pain of a lego is the worst you experience, consider yourself lucky.

Stepping on them is bad, I grant you. Kneeling on them is 100x worse.

I read something once about “How To Prepare For Parenting” One item was spread a large container of Legos in the hallway between your bedroom and the bathroom and try to walk through in the dark without screaming and waking up the whole house.

They also suggested you prepare for grocery shopping with kids by bringing a goat to the store with you.

I hardly remember the last time I left my LEGOS unattended on the floor and had them stepped upon by my parents’ bare feet.

Also, here is a blooper from a LEGO history movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-olhaMCRDE

A used wood toothpick hidden in the carpet.

This has nothing to do with today’s strip, it’s just a little factoid, I wanted to share with others who appreciate what can be done with the English Language. A May 12th birthday is/was shared by (among others) 3 men. George Carlin, Yogi Berra, and Edward Lear.

I’ve stepped on legos a lot and it usually doesn’t hurt that much. Except for one exception. The mask to the 2015 le-matoran (protector of jungle. Whatever). I stepped on it and actually cut my foot. It took a few weeks to fully heal.

Or should I say to fully heel?

No kids; no Legos. So I’ll have to reconsider my answer….

Wish I knew ahead of time…wouldn’t have had mine. What a waste of love and money!

When people hang TP incorrectly?

True. But LEGO is still worth it.

after years of stepping on Legos, i solved the problem and set fire to our house.

Depends on the Lego, some hurt more than others.