Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for May 26, 2021

The coathangers are lurking over the next rise…

But that raises the next great question: How did they get there?

I think the Underwear Gnomes have found a new product.

Please look for one with alternating red and yellow stripes

I have had my socks safety pinned together for years.

That must mean that Mars is made of lint.

The wormholes between Mars and our dryers must be exchanging socks for lint.

Were they made in China?

Great news! Now should we be hunting for stockings?!?

White socks on the “red planet” by way of washing machines? I’m surprised that there aren’t a few pink ones there.

That’s not nearly enough socks there. They’d have to fill the whole planet, and maybe one of the rings of Saturn.

Shouldn’t the rover say SPACEX on it? Haven’t seen NASA on much lately.

How did those socks get there in the first place??? THAT is what I’D like to know.;D

The poor dryers would be happy about this.

Pens can’t be far away…

and no matches.

I thought Eerie, Indiana had solved that problem.

Sometimes words are insufficient, sometimes unnecessary. This humorous one is an occasion for the latter.

Next mission for these guys: on to Saturn to recover a couple of my rings.

There should be a big pile of scissors and nail clippers around there somewhere. I have to buy new scissors and nail clippers every week. They just go “poof” into thin air around my house.

People used to believe lost items went to the Moon.

Newsflash: I have actually seen the moment a dryer eats a sock. Lost my best pair of light blue argyles that way (well, one of them, anyway, and the survivor wasn’t of much use to me after that).

George Carlin did a bit that when you get to heaven you get back all the things you lost- 76 odd socks, 322 ball point pens. one jock strap with chocolate sprinkles and mule prints-hey it was in your pile…

That’s why men are from mars and women…..

One of my minor superpowers: I never lose socks in the laundry. Even after 11 years, my wife still has trouble believing it.

singles, to be precise

KEYS

So THAT’S where all my socks from camp went when I sent them to the laundry!

Sock it to me.

It certainly was worth the billions spent on the mission to find out.

The next crater is for mittens

Millions of dollars to go to the moon and plant a $20 flag. No billions of dollars to go to Mars and find socks.

And guitar picks

Can you see my keys?

I have 12 pair, all the same color

In an infinite universe perhaps there are indeed aliens who are in dire need of hosiery.

I thought they found the Clinton’s Whitehouse cat.

No, socks make up one of the inner rings of Saturn. Lost airline luggage makes up the next ring.

So what you’re saying is, we can save billions of dollars and 7 months of travel time on a expedition to Mars if we just build a really big dryer and double up the number of astronauts and equipment we run through it?

Little Pink Socks?

So THAT is where they go….!

So does Mercury have all of my lost sunglasses?

That’s where they all went! I wonder if my daughter’s pacifiers are there too, always wondered where they went, never found them!

Ren & Stimpy used this premise 30 years ago. In space they found a pile of all the missing LEFT socks….cats love stinky socks.

Spontaneous teleportation!!!

But, were they all left socks?

I saw a similar strip about a big pile of socks on the far side of the moon.

Why not a gag about how tough the peanuts were to open, while you’re at it? The 90s called — they want their standup act back.

They do say Mars is dryer than Earth…

Won’t they be speaking Chinese?

The lost luggage is all orbiting Pluto.

While you’re up, mine were the dark blue ones with red piping around the top.

Clinton’s dead cat?

I knew it!

And, that scattering comes from just One Washer/Dryer set.

Wait until they find the Mountain of missing laundry that came from the local Laundromat.

Figures.

If you cannot find your missing sock when you make that trip to Mars, go back home and look between the inner and outer tubs of your washer.