The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for June 15, 2021

Oh Bard, we expect no hair and a beard, any other look would seem too weird! Stick to a clean pate and brush you goatee and go and write a soliloquy!

He bought tickets from a scalper!

You’re in a bathroom. It’s time topee.

There’ll be the devil toupee!

That inadequate periwig should ne’r adorn his expansive pate.

It is a ‘bald faced pate’ that is your confrontation! Sonnets are dime a dozen.

No way toupee, Jose.

Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer. The slings and arrows of outrageous comments, Or to rest toupee upon a sea of glimmering scalp

With his face? Go with a paper bag and become the unknown bard.

Alas poor hairpiece I knew him well

A potential shop-lifter may ask “the same” question:

… “To pay or not to pay? …”

Little known factoid: He was called “The Bard of Avon” because his real first name was “Bard”.

The question is side-splitting and hair splitting.

as we can see from today’s comments…

there’s many a man hath more hair than wit. But a lot of men have more hair than intelligence. Not a man of those but he hath the wit to lose his hair…

(the comedy of errors

He’s in the bathroom, a great place to have two of them (some will get it)

There’ll be hell toupee today.

Hare today, gone tomorrow

To Pee or not to Pee…

The toupee is a little small, not as wide as a church door.

Properly motivated, he wrote “Much Ado About Nothing”.

Mr. Clean could make a good Shakesphere.

Actually, men wearing wigs was common at the time.

Leave the wig. Take the cannoli.

If you don’t pay, you’ll be in debt. If you don’t pee, you’ll be in pain.

To pee or not to pee. Better talk to a urologist.

Great one, Scott. There are also little gems from some of the commenters, too.

…or is it heresy?

Scott, I dub you a member of the Bardy Bunch. Able to smack down using Shakespearian one liners!

Or, as we say in math, √4p^2

This isn’t about his hair at all — clearly he’s just wiping the top of his head with a small towel. His real concern is whether he should pick up the check for dinner.