Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for June 15, 2021

I’d rather have multiple rows of teeth, like a shark.  Function over beauty.

She was a mutant. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

VooooDoooo pin cushion.

I’ll bet ET was a fan of the movie ET PHONE HOME.

…what is perfect anyway?…just another word for average…

…unless you pitch a perfect game…

…I always sort a liked Elizabeth Taylor…

…but I was just absolutely crazy for Vivien Leigh…

…and don’t get me started on Natalie Wood…it seems that I have a type…

…which is, let’s say, colourful golden age movie actresses…

…colourful…

…they told me to be colour blind but then enjoy the rainbow…

…my cousin doesn’t have two sets of eyelashes…

…but does have a hairy eyeball…

…some mutant powers are better than others…

…yeah…

…shark teeth…

I wonder if Michael Jackson got that added to his plastic surgery list.

The long-awaited sequel to Edward Scissorhands, Garwood Safetypinhands, never made it to theaters, or even to video. Even the director’s cut was just a blank reel, with the remainder of the film being left on the cutting room floor, one awful scene at a time.

Pretty confident, aren’t you, for someone with moth antennae.

Pinning this down, Elizabeth not only had violet eyes, two rows of long furry lashes, she had multiple husbands, one right after another! They just kept coming and coming…… They followed her to the ends of the Earth. Her jewelry collection was massive, and her “Diamonds” shone like a bright star in the sky. RIP

Once more Frog Applause teaches me and obscure fact.

Once Elizabeth Tailor gave me the fast eye.

Top to bottom, left to right don’t we all have 2 rows of eyelashes somewhere … except those lighting smokes with blowtorches …?

I was in downtown Detroit in a high rise hotel in July of ’80. I stepped into an elevator, and there was Liz Taylor with an aide by her side. She was tiny, and had violet eyes to die for. All I could muster was a smile and a nod and a howdy.

Some people have all the luck.

Violet eyes or not, I’ll take my dog over Elizabeth Taylor any day. Infatuation I get, but the heights to which we elevate “stars” and other pedestal climbers is vulgar and just plain loco. Give me the humility of a dog, please.

File this one under “Things I Did Not Need to Know.”

But it is a very pretty picture of the Junior Varsity Mary Jane-person….

…Vulcans have two eyelids…

…speaking of which…

..did you ever watch the old classis Richard Burton movie, ‘The Robe’?…

…everyone knows how great an actor Richard was supposed to be…

…but now I know where William Shatner got his delivery…

…they…

…both…

…talk…

…the same…

…R.B. would have done great seeing a Gremlin on the wing of a plane…

…and biplane have two set of wings…

…too…

Fun fact: If you close your eyes while french-kissing a double eyelashed dog, you can pretend you’re making out with Elizabeth Taylor.

I mean, you could also do that with your eyes open.

Or just, you know, kiss a dog on the lips and don’t pretend it’s anybody else.

You know I mean love, L U V…