That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for July 12, 2021

“We are not impressed.”

“We didn’t literally mean this to be a dick measuring contest!”

Get it off the serving plate! That’s gross!

Strangest George Foreman grill infomercial ever.

The waiter on the right is serving wieners in a blanket

Could you please sit down, sir? And you will be eating the rack of lamb. No one else wants it now.

Yes, your Majesty, you’re hung like a bull. Now put some clothes on!

When they say substantial penalty for early withdrawal, they damn well are not kidding!

“Sir, when I said “show them you have some balls” I was speaking metaphorically."

When in Athens young Theseus appeared, / King Aegeus (the guy with the beard), / was told by his new wife / to take Theseus’s life. / She had lied, “He’s a foe to be feared.” /// Queen Medea, knew T. was A’s heir, / but Aegeus was still unaware. / It was all going fine; / they had poisoned T’s wine, / which would murder this lad, tall and bare. /// Then the guests, shocked, all looked up in synch, / when Aegeus knocked over T’s drink. / The vile plot was undone / A. knew T. was his son!! / (What he recognized, I cannot think!)

Watch carefully. There’s nothing up my sleeve.

I’ll tell you why we can’t reenact “The Last Supper.” For one thing, there aren’t 13 of us. And also, He was circumcised.

Clearly, none of you believe my calculations that our world is doomed, but do me one favor. I need to borrow cloaks from two of you. They will be used along with mine to swaddle my infant son, Kal-el, for a long journey.

Someone misheard the phrase, “Walk softly and carry a big stick.”

“How did you guess? Yes, I used SPF 1,000!”

“How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat? If you don’t eat your meat, how can you have any pudding?”…..and next time you come for dinner, put some damn clothes on!

My toga shrunk in the dryer.

A gravy boat would have worked in a pinch, guy!

his nickname is ‘flash’…

Yes we’re playing strip poker, but you didn’t even lose that hand!

I’m really glad the dude wasn’t sitting down when the artist did the painting.

No shirt, no shoes, no fig leaf, no service.

Marcus had that same dream again. What could it mean?

If you want to impress the guys/ with your organ’s exceptional size/ but they’re all well-endowed/ to stand out from the crowd/ a whole different tactic applies../Around 600 B.C.E./ beside the Aegean Sea/ lived a genial genius/whose prehensile penis/ he had trained to stir his tea…/// but, not simply content with that/ he taught it to tip his hat/ when encountering ladies/ (it’s the truth, by Hades!)/ but never the ones who were fat !/// But the training abruptly ceased/ when one night, the noble beast/ had reached for a fork/..was mistaken for pork/ and became just a part of the feast…

But the invitation said ‘Formal Dress Optional’!

“NO! When you give a speech, you’re supposed to IMAGINE the AUDIENCE naked!”

I don’t get it. Where is the phallic symbol?

Don’t have a ladle? I got you covered.

gymnasium (n.)1590s, “place of exercise,” from Latin gymnasium “school for gymnastics,” from Greek gymnasion “public place where athletic exercises are practiced; gymnastics school,” in plural, “bodily exercises,” from gymnazein “to exercise or train,” literally or figuratively, literally “to train naked,” from gymnos “naked,” from a metathesis of PIE *nogw-mo-, suffixed form of *nogw- “naked” (see naked).

Note the whist full look on our eunuchs face as he stare longingly at his missing “part” on the table in front of the gentleman in the mustard colored toga.

I will never complain about someone “double dipping”, that guy just dragged his dick through the salad trying to shake hands with everyone.

“Dude. Here’s a teabag. Cover yourself.”

“… and you shake it all about…”

Theseus misunderstood. They asked him to bare his soul!

The myths of the Peloponnesus/ are no longer sufficient to please us. / They’ve always rung hollow/ but now poor Apollo/ is (sadly) demoted to Jesus..

I’m here for the briss…

Theseus Recognized by his Father: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Hippolyte_Flandrin_-_Theseus_Recognized_by_his_Father_-_1832.jpg 

(best viewed using Google Chrome, which can automatically translate most webpages if necessary) has info and links that point to more info about this painting. File history has strip coloration image.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

https://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/07/masterpiece-2746.html 

I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. First work by this artist used here.

P.S. Anyone know what happened to Czarka? She left a reply to my 7/1 comment that has disappeared, and checking her

https://www.gocomics.com/profile/3062823

GoComics profile, all her comments are at least a year old, and she no longer follows any strips. If she decided to no longer participate, that is unfortunate, and I, for one, will miss her (she always made a positive contribution here). I hope she is safe and well.

“Where’s it gone?”

“I stand before this tribunal metaphorically and literally naked to show that I have nothing to hide”

“Oh yeah? What about that Porkus Swordus * you got there?

“Lets not dicker about the price of this meal, Peter. Nor should we have any sword play over the cost! Let us crank up the music and schwing to the beat. Off we go, lads!”

“You coulda just thrown a towel over yourself, like the rest of us.”

♪♪♫ Nothing could be wronger, than a view of Peter’s schlonger in the mor-or-nin’ ♪♪♫

No, I’m not cold. Why do you ask?

And now may I present, the famous Man from Nantucket.

" I never knew you were Jewish, Theseus? "

You gotta love the servent with the basket, wearing support hose!

I hope he showered first.

What a Canadian Parliamentary Committee Meeting might look like after they stop using Zoom.

But, but, but… We’re not serving spotted dick!!! :>)

“The invitation said ‘Come as you are’.”

Mikio came for the party and the guys wondered “what’s behind the standing rib roast” is it good to eat? no one there is well dressed, looks like early morning after the ORGY.

I love it when the Poetry Palace is in full swing!

Lady on the left: Wait! I’ve seen that before! Could it have been in the frozen food section last week?

Theseus is trying to out-herm the Herms!

“Now show us yours and there won’t be anything to settle by going to war.”