That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for July 20, 2021

“Claudius doesn’t seem like much now but we think there’s a book in him.”

If that was all Caligula did, they got off pretty lucky.

“Mommy, how did you raise me with those feeders?”

“Ma’am, you were supposed to have that procedure done on him when he was a baby. It’s going to cost a lot more now.

No, no, the little one isn’t for sale. But his older brother is ready to marry. How much is your dowry again?

To show how sorry he is, he’ll do the nasty thing with your horse.

Cornelia was best of Rome’s mothers, / a paragon, peer to no others. / When questioned by fools / why she wore no jewels: / “My gems are my girl and her brothers.” /// As “Mom of the Gracchi,” no chances / were taken by having romances. / When that girl came to plea, / kneeling, feeling her knee, / Cornelia refused her advances.

I can see that you and your family are very close, but I strongly recommend that they wait in the atrium until I call for them. I say this to you as a very experienced midwife.

Apologies forced by parents are worth about as much as apologies forced by teachers.

The negotiations over the price for relieving the eldest son of his virginity were so intense that no one noticed a spear with a heavy shield suspended beneath it come loose from the wall. The resulting decapitation of the courtesan would have a lasting effect on the young nobleman’s sex life.

Mommy, mommy it wasn’t him! It was I, Antigula that did it. I also helped Flatulence clear the girls locker room but it was Comicus’ idea to put corn starch in the undies. Say, you’ll forgive me and don’t tell Marcus Vindictus and Nausius. The shame would be too much to endurius.

Cornelia brought out her “jewels”/ in the hope of impressing these fools/ but she failed in her mission/ for one has a “condition”/ while the other’s so stupid he drools..

“Netherlandish”?? Where the heck is that?

“These two just popped out, but the big one there, that was unbelievable!”

Well, if he’s not showing any aptitude for the violin, would you consider taking him on as a tuba student?

“..et hic est filius meus Marcus Zuckerbergus…”

Tired of holding his toga up, Pearce decides to set a new style; letting it hang low, exposing his briefs.

Last week’s ‘strip’ was better.

She got out of that tunic in a ‘flash’.

I hope somebody is sending the video of that to AFV.

I’ve been a badddddd boy

“Take my son, please.”

Save yourself. Kill him now.

“Well, this one here has the biggest even though he’s not the biggest. Isn’t that ironic? Don’t you think?”

ah… “Little Boots” has a bad rep

No matter how much Felicity and her husband paid in bribes, it was obvious that young Julian was just too stupid to be admitted into the prestigious Athens University.

Mommy, why was daddy playing with these last night?

Cornelia, mother of the Gracchi, presenting her children and saying: “Here are my treasures”: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Joseph-Beno%C3%AEt_Suv%C3%A9e_-_Cornelia,_madre_dei_Gracchi.JPG 

(best viewed using Google Chrome, which can automatically translate most webpages if necessary) has info and links that point to more info about this huge painting. File history has strip coloration image.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

https://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/07/masterpiece-2752_19.html 

I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. First work by this artist used here.

The painting is actually of the Gracchi brothers, Tiberius and Gaius, were Romans who both served as tribunes of the plebs between 133 and 121 BC. They attempted to redistribute the occupation of the ager publicus—the public land hitherto controlled principally by aristocrats—to the urban poor and veterans, in addition to other social and constitutional reforms. After achieving some early success, both were assassinated by the Optimates, the conservative faction in the senate that opposed these reforms.Hmm … same problem 2000+ years later

The man in red is my husband, Sarek. Next to him is his son Sybok from his first marriage. And this boy is my son Spock. Even though he’s half human – would you accept him into the Vulcan Academy?

Ummm, no.

Although it doesn’t always work, in Cornelia’s case extended breast feeding served well to space out the births of her children. Looks like there won’t be a fourth for some time.

“I’ve always wanted a girl, so I’ll give you this teenage boy, but you’ll have to throw in the painting too.”

this is my son, Helen, and one of these men is his father. take your pcik.

He’s just got his ‘manly gown’

but his visage is set in a frown

for he’ll first have to smother

his dear little brother

before he achieves world reknown.

Cornelia’s first son was Tiberius, / a lad, sometimes sad; always serious. / When he tried to do yoga / he soiled his new toga, / which was, to his rep, deleterious.

Buy 3, get one free, you say? OK, I’ll take that one over there …