Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for August 18, 2021

Murder in the conference room.

I don’t know… It may be safer for the company’s liability, but it kinda lacks the drama.

Legal would also like you to make it look like an accident.

I’ll be using the collapsing stage dagger.

I’ll have to remember to pack a bottle of ketchup under my jacket

I’m getting Julius Caesar vibes from this scenario, focusing on the guy at the end of the table NOT having a knife.

No one remembers that ‘diversity’ came from the board room. It was to pave the way for importing cheap labor for business of all sizes.

That was followed by all retail clerks replacing ‘Merry Christmas’ with ‘Happy Holidays’.

.

Or did people actually believe that all those clerks got together with some libruls in secret some weekend? And the whole ‘diversity’ thing was something hatched by them same libruls?

Carry a small knife and a couple of packets of single serve ketchup for when a minor indescretion is discovered.

Great – a backroom agenda is now front and center.

In the Monty Python movie Life of Brian, see deleted scene “the suicide squad.”

He didn’t say, “Simon says”.

Everyone needs to admit guilt (even if they haven’t really done anything wrong). [It looks like they are (probably) all racist.]

Themselves, instead of each other, I assume? Never gonna happen.

Whoever listens to legal?

I don’t care what anyone says about government, for my money, the most corrupt, dangerous place for the country is the corporate boardroom.

Not easy to stab yourself in the back; probably better to have the person on your left do it for you. Then, of course, you’d have to find a new boss …

Turn all of the daggers to point at the head of the table, problem solved.

Everyone telecommuting is feverishly searching for “stabbed in the back” filters.

Another opportunity for Darwin to “win”.

Saves a lot of intra-office bickering if you dis yourself.

Corporate Suicide Squad, attack!

“That’ll show them.” gasp rattle

That would be more fitting for Capitol Hill honk honk

“And we’ve deducted the cost of the knives from your final paycheck.”

“And we’ve deducted the cost of the knives from your final paycheck.”

Corporate legal here … In an effort to waste no opportunity to make a profit, in concert with Payroll, we have authorized the use of the phrase “And we’ve deducted the cost of all the knives from each of your final paycheck s.”

“Is this a dagger I see before me?”

The CEO is the only one without a dagger. Either he will be the last one standing or everybody else will kill him ala Agatha Christie.

HR came up with a way to make it Easier.

They rammed the daggers through the Backs of all the chairs so that all they need to do is Lean Back.