FoxTrot Classics by Bill Amend for October 16, 2021

Get twenty million gallons of milk, Peter, to cool that firey hot sauce off your tongue.

IIRC, putting ice in a spice-enflamed mouth only makes it worse. I learned that the first time I tried Thai food and thought that “two-star” heat would make it safe.

Milk products work best. Especially yoghurt.

Some people dip hot wings in dressing. I don’t. I eat hot wings straight and then eat blue cheese dressing straight.

You’re an amateur, Peter. Try a ghost pepper.

To me it looks like it’s a Tabasco bottle — that ain’t hot.

Drink lots of milk. The alkaline in the milk counter acts the acid spiciness of the food.

There’s a scene in the movie “Fireproof”. There’s one guy who thinks he’s “all that”, and the captain wanted to put him in his place. He takes out 2 small bottles, both labeled “hot sauce” and dares “all that” to a contest to see who can drink the whole thing. Well, “all that” was up to the challenge…no problem! The captain goes first. He drinks the whole bottle down, pausing once in a while to wince or wipe his eyes. Then “all that” goes. He barely gets through 3 sips before he’s off to get a soothing beverage. Later in the movie it was revealed to “all that” that the captain was drinking straight tomato juice!

Drinking water (or using ice) after eating something spicy doesn’t work. The best thing you can do is drink milk or other dairy, or eat something starchy like potatoes, rice, or bread. Buttered bread works great.

(Shell, lettuce, ch-ch-cheese) It’s raining tacos.

I use a product/additive called Satan’s Blood (peppers only picked at midnight on Friday the 13th) I use a tooth pick, coat it with the SB and then dip it into my bottle of sauce. It is a good heat.

I plan to use it the next time I make a batch of sauce. I am 100 % up front that I use it. It is hard to get good pepper to increase the heat.

My daughter, a chemist, said using olive oil to clean it up will help.

My older brother in a nutshell, thinks he can handle spicy stuff with about the same results.

I’ve been of the opinion that the tears of a clown only occur when there’s no one around.

Cable out kids and this is what you do for entertainment?

I saw a guy do something like that. He put way too much hot sauce on his Sancho, and was doing OK until he got down to the end, where most of the sauce had settled. He drank a whole 6-pack of soda pop…

Have a glass of milk…….

That must have been a big taco to hold a whole bottle of hot sauce!!!

That is Tabasco and it is the “coldest” hot sauce on the market. Try Sriracha sauce… much better and really good is Badia Habanero.

milk or alcohol, water and ice don’t really do anything

Off-screen, Roger is pouring two bottles of hot sauce on his taco and muttering “Amateur”.

“Tears of a Clown” – I prefer the Miracles version. I know that’s not what he meant but you know…

What is he trying to prove?

There’s more to a good taco than hot sauce, of which I am not a fan, despite living in Mexico and enjoying Mexican food. When I eat tacos, I squirt on some lemon juice and add a dab of mildly-spicy guacamole. What really matters is the freshness of the tortillas and the quality of the meat.

Guacamole will kill the burn of peppers also.

Maybe I’m being too hard on Peter — killing your taste buds may be preferable to tasting the eternal bland that Andy traditionally serves up. (“Tonight we’re having eggplant tacos, kids!”)

just remember….hot in…. HOT out…..

My parents told me that they were once traveling in L.A. with another couple. The husband of the other couple was a kind of puffed-up guy. When they were at a Mexican restaurant and the waiter asked how hot they wanted the food, he said something like “We love it as hot as you can make it!” (Perhaps he was familiar with Mexican food as served in Winnipeg.) The rest of the table let him dig in first—he turned colours a couple of times, moaned, and grabbed for water and bread and other anti-hot substances.

When I go to a restaurant with a spicy menu, I generally say something like, “Well, I like spicy, but I’m not crazy, so maybe not as spicy as you might like it.” My wife also likes spicy, but unfortunately for the last number of years it hasn’t agreed with her, so we usually try to get the chili sauce (or whatever) on the side.

There are of course all kinds of hot sauces—our local “gourmet grocery” has a full shelving unit of them, all different. We sometimes go to a restaurant that puts at the table a sauce named “Fear Itself.”