Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for September 16, 2021

THAT kind of thinking might even get me into a church from time to time. But probably not.

Inna Gadda da Vida?

Somebody better decide what hymn they’re all going to sing, or everyone will sing different ones.

On three we all drop our hymnbooks. 1..2…

. . . and sing it in Hebrew.”

When we had a substitute band director in high school, we’d often switch instruments…

Mass trolling, eh.

Sounds like something my church would do. I’m an ordained minister in the Church of the SubGenius™. We worship at the feet of and burn incense in the navel of the Cosmic Salesman JR “Bob” Dobbs.

We even fry him lightly and stew him slowly in a closed container. Yes, we BRAISE “BOB”!!

Pretend you’ve forgotten the words and hum your hymn.

Some never grow up

Tic Tok

You rebels, you.

He’s that most dangerous of animals, a clever sheep.

That’ll get you sent to the time out corner, George

Wow, a middle school church.

Substitute teachers deserve extra pay. Hazardous duty or something like that. Especially junior high kids…old enough to be a lot of trouble and young enough to have very little self control.

I hope the organist (or pianist) is in on the joke too.

How great Thou art, how great Thou art.

You can slap a “2021” on there, but this is a rerun.

Amateur! During one particular substitute visit during my high school years, I actually distracted the poor sub while stealthily sliding the tests into the trash can. But – Karma exacted its revenge when I became a teacher and then a substitute in later years!

Considering the age of most of them, someone might just pass on.

Here, our locum doctors are much better than the resident ones, much better!

I used to freak out my mother by playing the hymns on our home piano in the minor key! I thought it was quite funny… too bad I couldn’t have tried it in church.

“The kids would all sing; he would sing the wrong key…”