Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 04, 2021

I’m surprised Rat hasn’t cut off his own nose.

My body is 60% water and 30% fat lard.

Maybe it’s 80% Sprite.

Rat’s got it right.

Rat is 90% fermented vegetation.

What’s the other 20% in your body, Rat?

He’s 80% Sprite?

Sadly, he’s 100 percent rat.

Spite is a great motivator. It will keep you going long after other motives have faded.

We wonder too, Rat!

Well, you can’t have spite without spit, and spit is mostly water, so…

Rat has made it in spite of himself – impressive.

Rat I thought you were 90 % Beer ;-)

After all Rat was a former politician.

I think I’m 80% annoyance. Stupid people REALLY annoy me.

Is ther a differenc between spit and spite?

The other 20% is cynicism. Or maybe it’s the other way around. Whatever, either way, I LIKE this guy.

“Big ugly bags of water. . .” beautiful crystalline structure describing how it perceives humans to Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Enterprise. . .

That Sprite is 75% water, thus keeping the balance intact.

And he is also twenty percent hot air.

Well, since “Spit” is 4/5 of “Spite” [even more if we’re playing Scrabble], that gives us 64% Spit so seems 60% is about right.

In spite of everything, Rat knows who he is…..

Strange thing, but most people mainly made of spite make it to old age. And then they turn to ‘cranky’ and live forever.

“There comes Poe, with his raven, like Barnaby Rudge/ Three fifths of him genius and two fifths sheer fudge.’’

(James Russell Lowell, 1848)

I thought Rat was 80% beer.

Unknown to many, spite is water soluble. Thus it is relatively easy to find in the bottom of a glass …

I’m not fat. It’s 60% water weight.

… and forty percent beer! ;-)

The math just doesn’t work.

Evidently, if you say something often enough, it becomes truth…

It’s what powers social media.

Ah – so he’s the guy that keeps bashing my beliefs!

I read that as Sprite.

Polluted water will do that to you.

Oh, SPITE! I thought he said SPIT!

Am I the only one who remembers “Veep” and “Uptown”? They were Coca-Cola’s previous attempts to market a lemon soda!

spite & malice is my favorite card game

Might have a higher percentage of water, if it wasn’t spent for pizzing off those around you Rat.

So do I.

“Spite” or “Sprite”?

I’m shocked Rat didn’t say he’s sixty percent beer.

Sprite? I figured he was more of a “Make 7Up Yours” kind of guy

Spite is 80% spit.

I’m guessing 60 percent of Rat’s body is beer.

Mt. Dew gets you the real power.

—In which Rat’s realistic self-assessment must nevertheless be all wet….

Yes, there’s no respite.

That explains Rat’s dry wit.

“Rat didn’t have a heart, Kreacher. He kept himself alive out of pure spite.”