My pal, the retired ophthalmologist, gave me tonight’s “bon mot” (as Steve Silver used to say):
A professor is addressing his biology class one afternoon, and asks a question: “Which human organ, when appropriately stimulated, grow to ten times its original size?”
A young lady in the front row is shocked. “Sir, you have no right to ask us a filthy question like that!” she fumes.
“Young lady,” the professor begins, “The correct answer is ‘the iris.’ And your answer tells me three things about you: one, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read the assignment. And three, you’re going to be VERY disappointed someday.”
I’m hoping you can’t go wrong with a traveling salesman joke. I guess I’m about to find out! It goes like this : The traveling sales man knocks on the door and a very voluptious woman in her early thirties and clad in nothing but a very sheer and short negligee opens the door and before the sales can gain his composure and speak, she says “get in here, i think I hear somebody coming” and pulls him inside, shoves him down on the couch and nestles up very close to him! She says “Hey honey what do you think is the most sensitive part of a woman’s anatomy?” He says “Er uh… I guess it’s her ears.” She says “What? Her ears? why in the world would you think that?” He says “Well…you know when you said that you thought you heard somebody coming?” “Well that was me!” OK I’m leaving! Jofers out!
In 2012, a bear was reported in a neighborhood in the greater Los Angeles area. A TV news station helicopter was sent. They found the bear, and were recording it when they spotted a texting guy walking toward the bear.
I say let ‘em crash into and walk off things. Maybe they’ll learn how to pay attention to something other than their phone. You just know somebody is going to use it while driving and feel like they’re being safe.
eromlig about 3 years ago
My pal, the retired ophthalmologist, gave me tonight’s “bon mot” (as Steve Silver used to say):
A professor is addressing his biology class one afternoon, and asks a question: “Which human organ, when appropriately stimulated, grow to ten times its original size?”
A young lady in the front row is shocked. “Sir, you have no right to ask us a filthy question like that!” she fumes.
“Young lady,” the professor begins, “The correct answer is ‘the iris.’ And your answer tells me three things about you: one, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read the assignment. And three, you’re going to be VERY disappointed someday.”
Caldonia about 3 years ago
That ice cream. I must try it.
Susan00100 about 3 years ago
That does it!! I’m off mac & cheese for good!!!
tremaine53 about 3 years ago
Coming soon! Turkey flavored ice cream for Thanksgiving, pine flavored ice cream for Christmas, and rodent flavored ice cream for Ground Hog’s Day!
FreyjaRN Premium Member about 3 years ago
Teach a parrot to say, “Help! I’ve been turned into a parrot!”
Huckleberry Hiroshima about 3 years ago
On the 30thnd of November 2020 a dried and curled up potato peeling blew across the road in Prescott, Arizona!
Take care, may smiling moron and indoor dust writing enthusiast Todd “Oy Wot a Life” Wrensackelord be with you, and gesundheit.
dv1093 about 3 years ago
I totally don’t get that third eye camera thing.
oakie817 about 3 years ago
mac & cheese ice cream? i bet that was a hot seller
joefearsnothing about 3 years ago
I’m hoping you can’t go wrong with a traveling salesman joke. I guess I’m about to find out! It goes like this : The traveling sales man knocks on the door and a very voluptious woman in her early thirties and clad in nothing but a very sheer and short negligee opens the door and before the sales can gain his composure and speak, she says “get in here, i think I hear somebody coming” and pulls him inside, shoves him down on the couch and nestles up very close to him! She says “Hey honey what do you think is the most sensitive part of a woman’s anatomy?” He says “Er uh… I guess it’s her ears.” She says “What? Her ears? why in the world would you think that?” He says “Well…you know when you said that you thought you heard somebody coming?” “Well that was me!” OK I’m leaving! Jofers out!
Nick Danger about 3 years ago
There used to be an app that activated the camera and so your phone screen included a forward view as well as your texting screen.
That wouldn’t work when you were playing a game, though
Jogger2 about 3 years ago
In 2012, a bear was reported in a neighborhood in the greater Los Angeles area. A TV news station helicopter was sent. They found the bear, and were recording it when they spotted a texting guy walking toward the bear.
WCraft Premium Member about 3 years ago
Mac n Cheese ice-cream? I’ll rank that right up there with the Jone’s soda flavor from a few years ago: Thanksgiving dinner.
LrdSlvrhnd about 3 years ago
I say let ‘em crash into and walk off things. Maybe they’ll learn how to pay attention to something other than their phone. You just know somebody is going to use it while driving and feel like they’re being safe.
gopher gofer about 3 years ago
nick danger had already invented the third eye – should’ve patented it…
aussie399 Premium Member about 3 years ago
Paeng needs to invent a brain for those people