Loose Parts by Dave Blazek for December 05, 2021

They make cardboard boxes for this, mostly for cremations. On a hunch, I checked Amazon. Yep, you can order a coffin.

I just finished filling out my Advanced Health Care Directive. I told them to give my body to a medical school. Let some med student learn how to do some surgery. There’s an interesting book about this called Stiff by Mary Roach.

Putting scrap wood to good use.

Fred’s apprentice did his utmost best..

The next “speaker” is an “illusionist”: He will “cut Fred in half” and then …

How did he die? Did he build a coffin around himself and then couldn’t get out anymore?

You would think Fred would have planned ahead, and make a coffin with all the bells and whistles. (Now I want one, but with only whistles. People will think I led a noble (no bell) life).

“Please don’t bury me down in that cold cold ground;

No, I’d druther have ’em cut me up and pass me all around.

Throw my brain in a hurricane, and the blind can have my eyes,

And the deaf can take both of my ears if they don’t mind the size.

Give my stomach to Milwaukee if they run out of beer.

Put my socks in a cedar box; just get ’em" out of here.

Venus de Milo can have my arms. Look out! I’ve got your nose!

Sell my heart to the junkman, and give my love to Rose.

Give my feet to the footloose, careless, fancy free.

Give my knees to the needy—don’t pull that stuff on me!

Hand me down my walking cane, it’s a sin to tell a lie;

Send my mouth way down south, and kiss my ass goodbye."

—John Prine (R.I.P.)

ya really don’t appreciate what some folks do until they’re gone.

i had a grandfather who could do things like this

Ah, bricks and boards. To the end!

Cinder blocks? Must be a redneck funeral.

You do the hokey pokey …

Funerals just weren’t the same after that Schrödinger guy started making caskets.

Just knock it together.

What, no band-aids or duct tape?