Herman by Jim Unger for November 24, 2021

An Easter egg with a surprise inside.

I think you want the costume jewelry department at Sears.

Yup. Those long term relationships are a drag.

A diamond ring that falls down the drain.

A floozy.

How about a nice pop-top ring for a buck and a quarter plus interest?

Mr. Right now

They still sell those ring pops?

A string of candy beads.

cubic zirconium

He just wants the benefits without the actual long term comment. What a cad!

Mr. Herman, you want to go to the “Rent-a-gem” store down the street.

Money can’t buy love. But there are some rental deals around.

One of those things that came in Cracker Jacks.

Just ask for a couple of business cards and flash them occasionally and your dreams will come true.

Try a Cracker Jack box?

Certainly not Twinkies.

Yup, Cracker Jacks has very high quality rings sometimes.

That’s why they say diamonds are forever, cause it takes forever to pay them off.

Let me see the quid pro quo tray.

A bunch of carrots….

How much for beer tab rings?

He’s just a Rhinestone Cowboy……

“The DeBeers people are almost saying what they really mean.

“You remember the old DeBeers slogan, ‘Diamonds are forever.’ Then they changed it to ‘This year, take her breath away.’ The new slogan is ‘Diamonds. Render her speechless.’

“Well, why don’t they just come out and say it: ‘Diamonds. That’ll shut her up!

“For a minute.’” —Ron White

Now they say diamonds will leave her breathless, So buy her a diamond and shut her up.