Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 22, 2021

So when can we expect Rat to kick the bucket?

People who stay in shape feel old later, but eventually, even they will suffer from old age.

I’m a 64 old pessimist and I hope to live a long long time of good ol’ pessimism.

If you are a pessimist, you’ll never be disappointed. If things turn out well, it’s a nice surprise.If they turn out badly, you get the satifaction of saying “Told you so”.

Good to know, Goat and Rat.

The optimist says, “I’m going to live for a long, long time.”

The pessimist says, “So will Rat.”

To pessimists, it just seems longer!

The good thing about optimism is that you’re cheerful right up to the end.

The good thing about pessimism is that surprises are always GOOD ones!

I thought bacon was the answer…

“Show me an optimist who is also a realist and i will show you a fool!” – me

I think you just wrote my comment. What a pleasant surprise :-)

Is the gage half empty or half full? Depends on your perspective!

“This is a mess”!… Think positive!… “Ok, I am positive this is a mess” !

I’m an opessimist, There will be good things about bad things, and bad thing about good things.

And it fits all occasions. Let’s hear it for pessimism!

Optimists have a lot more pain to expect.

I just carry on and take each day as it comes. No expectations, no fretting.

An optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds. A pessimist is certain of it…

Pessimism is the answer when you can’t handle a long life.

Rat you hold the answer in your paw/hand ! Enjoy your cold one ;-)

An optimistic pessimist feels positive that everything will go wrong.

Someone somewhere in my lifetime actually studied the outcomes of scenarios viewed by optimists and pessimists.

The pessimists were more often accurate, and it was decided they were more realistic.

sorry rat…but sarcasm is the only answer……

Thinking “It couldn’t be worse” guarantees that it will get worse.

Yo Rat, I shouldn’t read you in the mornings!!

What if the question is, “What is 1 + 1”? Then, pessimism isn’t the answer.

I was feeling sad and lonely, and suddenly, a voice from the heavens said “Cheer up, things could be worse”.

So I cheered up, and sure enough, things got worse.

Rats only have like four or five years to live anyways, so I can’t blame him for being so negative.

Thanks for the cheery thoughts, guys. What a way to start a Monday!

Pessimists are always enlightened when the things they worried about never happened!

Optimists are wrong and disappointed 90% of the time and right 10%. Pessimists are right 90% of the time and pleasantly surprised 10% of the time.

What’s the difference between a Russian pessimist and a Russian optimist? The Russian pessimist is not sure that things can get any worse, and the Russian optimist is positive they will…

We just enjoy life and we will enjoy death and we will really enjoy what comes after…….

life’s a beach and then you die

It’s true.

Herman comic on optimism: https://laughingstock.com/products/print_hm270611

I’m optimistic that the new administration will turn things around…

The optimist believes that this is The Best of All Possible Worlds…

The pessimist fears that is so.

Death is inevitable. Doesn’t mean I’m just going to sit around waiting for it. Places to go, things to see, etc…

“In the long run we are all dead anyway”

A cartoon character lives for ever.

If optimist live longer, why are there so many grouchy senior citizens?

The late Bill Hicks: “I’ve got a message for all the non-smokers out there. All of you non-smokers, this is for you. Non-smokers die…. every day. I know you have some immortality thing going, but nope. You’re gone, too.”

Rat is a pestimist.

This reminds me of a comment I made to a friend when fitness icon Jack LaLanne died in 2011 at the age of 97: “See?! Exercise doesn’t work!”

Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist, while you guys were busy arguing about the glass of water, I drank it! Sincerely, The Opportunist.

I always like the comment that “Married men, on average, live longer than single men, and it probably serves them right.”

I think it’s a wash.

Rat’s morbid profundity is monitory….