Crabgrass by Tauhid Bondia for December 03, 2021

It helps if the parents believe you still believe in Santa, so Kevin’s toast.

Santa is like science. He doesn’t care if you believe in him. He’s just happy with the milk and cookies. Problem is, Kevin’s hungry and the cookies never last until morning.

If you don’t have a chimney, Santa comes in through the toilet.

As you grow up you tend to develop more trust in science and less faith in magic… Unless you’re a Conservative.

As long as Kevin has that attitude, maybe he’ll get a visit from Krampus instead of Santa.

Ever see a fat guy in a sooty red suit coming out of the furnace?

If you don’t have a chimney Santa makes a temporary chimney that he later sells to construction companies.

This sounds the same as most religions.

Very wise. When you stop believing in Santa Claus, you start getting all clothes (especially uncomfortable ones that you don’t like yet are obligated to wear because your parents think you look good in them) instead of real presents.

My kid Brother came home one day, and announced he knew who the Tooth Fairy was….It was Bruce’s Mother. “Really?” Yep, Bruce had caught her in the act…Funnier because Bruce’s Mom, was around 5’ tall, and weighed about 200 lb’s.

That does actually make sense

Who needs a chimney when you have a transporter?

Homes without chimneys was the first seed of doubt in my belief of Santa.

Kind of like the Democratic Party.