Circumstances forced me to take last night off, but I did read this page. And Steve Silver’s joke reminded me of the following, which I humbly (well, as humble as I can get) offer up:
Several nubile young ladies are skinnydipping in Farmer Brown’s pond when the farmer himself shows up, bucket in hand.
“Go away, you dirty old man!” one of the young ladies screams. “You think you’re going to get an eyeful, but we’re staying right here with the water up to our necks until you go away!”
“Oh, don’t worry, girls,” replies Brown, holding up the bucket. “I’m not here to stare at you. I just came down to feed the alligators.”
Am I the only one who read about the spider & wrapped their fingers around their thumbs & felt a shiver? Yosemite Sam hated Rabbits but I HATES Spiders!
Wait a second here the REPTILE park is the host to the giant fingernail piercing spider?. I would not classify a spider as a reptile, but given how dangerous the fauna is down there I’m assuming the spider decided that it was a reptile and no one was willing to argue with it.
Who’s the poor bastard who figured out the spider could pierce human fingernails?
Also, I wonder how many toes had to be amputated due to frostbite while those folks were patting themselves on the back by building that line of socks.
Every so often I’ll look for an intelligent comment here. Little hope from the pathetic old men who gather here pretending to be actual friends and actually witty.
Better than a visit from the Brazilian Wandering Spider, which actually can cause an erection that lasts for hours. You are surely going to make a visit yourself, straight to the hospital, but fortunately there is a treatment. This spider belongs to the genus Phoneutria, which means “murderess” in Greek, how appropriate.
eromlig almost 3 years ago
Circumstances forced me to take last night off, but I did read this page. And Steve Silver’s joke reminded me of the following, which I humbly (well, as humble as I can get) offer up:
Several nubile young ladies are skinnydipping in Farmer Brown’s pond when the farmer himself shows up, bucket in hand.
“Go away, you dirty old man!” one of the young ladies screams. “You think you’re going to get an eyeful, but we’re staying right here with the water up to our necks until you go away!”
“Oh, don’t worry, girls,” replies Brown, holding up the bucket. “I’m not here to stare at you. I just came down to feed the alligators.”
pearlsbs almost 3 years ago
I wonder who tested that fingernail piercing claim.
JDP_Huntington Beach almost 3 years ago
Why does the spider in the picture look like he has 12 legs, including the front set?
Having body piercing fangs is enough of a yuck factor, you don’t need to add the extra limbs.
mbakerbr549 almost 3 years ago
Am I the only one who read about the spider & wrapped their fingers around their thumbs & felt a shiver? Yosemite Sam hated Rabbits but I HATES Spiders!
Charlie Fogwhistle almost 3 years ago
Spiders are popular on e again, so I’ll try this one out.
A husband and wife are sitting on the couch watching TV. The wife looks at the husband and finds him staring at the ceiling above her head.
She looks up and asks “What are you staring at?”
“A spider,” he replies.
“I don’t see anything.”
“Oh, it must have fallen on your head,” he says calmly.
The wife jumps up screaming.
The man says, “While you’re up, you mind getting me another beer?"
Until next time.
Caldonia almost 3 years ago
Two cannibals were dining on a stewed mummy. “I don’t think this is good for us,” said the wife. “Too many preservatives.”
Caldonia almost 3 years ago
That’s a romantic gift. After all, the original Taj Mahal was made specifically to hold the tomb of a dead wife!
theincrediblebulk almost 3 years ago
Wait a second here the REPTILE park is the host to the giant fingernail piercing spider?. I would not classify a spider as a reptile, but given how dangerous the fauna is down there I’m assuming the spider decided that it was a reptile and no one was willing to argue with it.
Kwen almost 3 years ago
Ain’t the Tajmahal a MAUSOLEUM ? What kind of message was he trying to send to his wife?
NeedaChuckle Premium Member almost 3 years ago
That Indian Businessman is quite a guy to have built the Taj scale model instead of hiring people.
Huckleberry Hiroshima almost 3 years ago
Aaand the millennials are now flocking to Australia to get their nails pierced.
Take care, may hospitalized spider whisperer Agnes “We Were Getting Along Fine Until I Went Out With Jiminy” McCreedord be with you, and gesundheit.
FrankErnesto almost 3 years ago
80,000 socks may be good publicity, but not much else.
dlasher almost 3 years ago
But after they put the socks through the washer and dryer, there was only one left.
Saddenedby Premium Member almost 3 years ago
so who volunteered to find out if the spider could pierce a fingernail? OR did the ‘researchers’ just “say”
artegal almost 3 years ago
Who’s the poor bastard who figured out the spider could pierce human fingernails?
Also, I wonder how many toes had to be amputated due to frostbite while those folks were patting themselves on the back by building that line of socks.
the humorist formerly known as Hotshot1984 Premium Member almost 3 years ago
If the megaspider can do that, then I wonder if it can give me manicures and pedicures whenever I need my fingernails and my toenails to be cut.
mindjob almost 3 years ago
That line of socks would have been more impressive if they were tied end to end
poppacapsmokeblower almost 3 years ago
Ripley’s should identify the person whose fingernail was pierced, if that person’s surviving family permits it.
fgerbil46 almost 3 years ago
Now were the socks hung in pairs or singularly?
FassEddie almost 3 years ago
So the backstory of the Aussie spider handler who couldn’t move their hands out of the way fast enough must be a hoot!
“…and so that’s why Sheila hea is missing a finga!”
paranormal almost 3 years ago
I hope the Chouksey Taj Mahal wasn’t like the one Willy Wonka made, of chocolate…
Jogger2 almost 3 years ago
Most spiders aren’t a threat to humans because they are unable to position their fangs so they can bite us.
Jogger2 almost 3 years ago
The Taj Mahal is a mausoleum. It was built by order of a Mughal Emperor to house the tomb of his wife, and his tomb when his time came.
LrdSlvrhnd almost 3 years ago
“Hey honey, I love you so much, I built you a mausoleum to live in!”
Nancy Simpson almost 3 years ago
Every so often I’ll look for an intelligent comment here. Little hope from the pathetic old men who gather here pretending to be actual friends and actually witty.
WCraft Premium Member almost 3 years ago
Those Fresno mission volunteers must have a lot of free time…
Nicole ♫ ⊱✿ ◕‿◕✿⊰♫ Premium Member almost 3 years ago
Here’s an article with photos of the mini-taj: https://nypost.com/2021/11/30/devoted-husband-builds-mini-replica-of-taj-mahal-for-wife/
the humorist formerly known as Hotshot1984 Premium Member almost 3 years ago
Better than a visit from the Brazilian Wandering Spider, which actually can cause an erection that lasts for hours. You are surely going to make a visit yourself, straight to the hospital, but fortunately there is a treatment. This spider belongs to the genus Phoneutria, which means “murderess” in Greek, how appropriate.