The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for February 01, 2022

For rancid, this is a great way to save money.

I have worked for people like that.

I waited 40 years for them to fire me. I finally decided to retire.

Hasn’t Brutus been working there since ’65 ?

I’m going to retire in a few months. I will leave, not with a bang, but a whimper.

When I retired, a bunch of my coworkers surprised me with a cake and cards and small tokens to show how much they appreciated me. Brought tears to my eyes.

I should have retired three years ago but can’t afford to. I’m not complaining though. Gets me away from my wife for around 10 hours a day. Just kidding dear. Love you!

there’s a first for everything, eventually…

Brutus put retirement from Vebblefester’s in a nut shell!

Moving of to better employment is not quitting – its smart upward.

I retired with 42 years of service. I got bupkis.

If the bossman heard Brutus was retiring, he would fire him just to avoid the pension payments.

Vebblefester give them a wireless phone. An empty tin can from his own private kitchen…

That’s his employee pension plan.

I’ll bet Veeblefester even fired his own mother when she got too old to knit her daily quota of tea cozies.

Saves money on retirement gifts and parties.

That saves cheap Veeblefester from having to get gold watches!

When it’s time for me to retire, I’m just going to say “BYE!”

Why are you smiling, Uncle Ted? What Brutus said was depressing if you work for Veeblefester.

Hope that you got a very good and big 401K. I doubt that you will get a Golden Parachute, more likely a lead one….

A company I worked for would give us gifts on special anniversaries. Prior to the anniversary date, they’d send us a small catalog of gift items, so we could choose our gift. For my 5th anniversary, in 2004, I chose a Seiko watch, which I still have and use.

For my 10th anniversary, I chose a gold ring (ugly, frankly, but for me, the only desirable item in the catalog). But that was in 2009, when the economy was in bad shape. The ring was delivered to me by FedEx about two weeks after I was laid off. The very definition of adding insult to injury!

But the story has a happy ending: in 2015, I was moving, and I picked up a few bucks by selling it to one of those places that buys gold.

What kind of masochist would punt 40 years of their life working for Veeblefester?!

Uncle Ted, a gold watch from Veeblefester ? He won’t even give his employees the time of day.

I was hoping to make it to 40 years but ended up retiring three months shy. Went to work on a Monday and there no projects on my schedule. I walked into my supervisor’s office and told him I was going to retire because I ran out of lies to put on my timesheet. During my last two weeks I slowly brought home personal items, gave important files to other people in the group, and cleaned up my desk area. I spent some of the time wandering around the company saying “good-byes and thanks” to the remaining folks I had worked with over the years. Our group went out for lunch one day, since I did not want a company-wide party. On my last day the group, with a few select others, did cake and ice cream. All I had to carry out was a basket of parting gifts.

For my 50th birthday, which about 4 months shy of 25 years with the company my boss took the staff out for dinner. That was just before the pandemic started. If i make it to 40 years it will be most likely the current owners children who will decide what if anything i get for 40 years / retirement as the years served will coincide with my turning 65. i know there is no pension, but I am hopeful there will be some parting gift when the time comes and hopefully I will get to keep my staff discount. I work in a bulk food store and that discount will help stretch my budget a long way.