Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 06, 2022

The vegans were eliminated by the people who don’t know what they want at the drive through.

How come self-righteous vegan cyclists didn’t make the bracket?

My Final Four: Bully mega-pickup truck drivers – Illegal fireworks-on-steroids neighbors – Huge pitbull with no leash guys – Donald Trump cultists

If this is the most annoying, slow drivers in the fast lanes should win by a landslide. You can ignore the others.

I saw something like this on “TruTV’s World’s Dumbest” once.

What about “SUV drivers who don’t give a damn about other drivers”? They should have been in the finals!

What about MAGA & Karens?

Let’s not forget the people with a week’s worth of groceries in the “12 items or less” lane.

Please add, “I can turn every topic into a political discussion” people

Everybody has peeves, but you don’t need to make PETS of them!

The ‘Trump Won’ crowd is pretty annoying.

OMG… I am an offended cyclist.

I’m going with self-righteous people who complain about everyone else being annoying.

It is indeed quite funny. But Stephen’s focus on the ‘left’ and ‘liberals’ for the most open target of his satire is getting kind of old. And I say this as a cyclist who has seen cyclists behave badly, and a progressive who has had some problems with cancel culture, BLM tactics(but not nec’ly goals), etc. I’m not an uncritical whatever. But Stephen is almost guaranteed to lampoon ‘stupid’ people in general, and bicycle riding granola eaters in particular – and, with his ref. to ’I’m offended,’ takes indirect swipe at all assertion of rights by people of color, gays, etc.But virtually never have I seen him lampoon, I dunno, white nationalism, Christian self-righteousness and narrow mindedness, the idea that the US and Israel can solve their problems by building higher walls, the incredible anti-environmental policies of Trump, the continued fossil fuel burning policies of Biden, etc. I realize some of this is serious stuff that might not be appropriate for a comic, even a comic like this. But other than one or two strips by Stephen that were outspoken about inequality of wealth in this country, he’s been hands off on conservatives, the Right, etc. Of course part of the reason could be, if he satirizes them, we might see a violent cancel culture that makes the efforts by the ‘offended’ look paltry.

Cole Oyl: “He owes us an apology!”

Is this going to be a PPV event on some HBO channel?

Very inclusive. How PC… ;)

This is over complicated. Basically it just boils down to: me vs. everyone else.

I would give the win to a sociopathic despot who needlessly invade another country.

I don’t see punsters in the field…

Go Golden Flashes!!!

The flip side of the slugs dawdling in the passing lane are the über-entitled BMW owners who drive recklessly, aggressively, and much too fast. Beemer owners are, quite simply, people to avoid.

Cervelo where are you? We need some pithy comment to defend us cyclists.

I can hang up on the telemarketers or don’t answer, tough to get past the 55ers.

Why didn’t moral guardians make the list?

Jeff is in the opposing bracket

How about the ‘drivers who stay in the left lane’ and ‘people who don’t wipe equipment down at the gym’?

I’m rooting for Jeff “The Cyclist”

A bit redundant there Pig.

Shouldn’t Pig be supporting the vegans?

I can’t believe “lawyers” don’t even get into the tourney.

The vegans couldn’t even get out of the starting gate.

I use it for NFL free agency. Who’s getting the most money for the least production? Whoever the New York Giants sign!

It should be a Venn diagram – I am certain that these groups overlap.

Doesn’t everyone who makes a comment here belong in the "I’m Offended’ group…….including me…..sadly?

Pig loses points for redundancy.

“Self Righteous Vegans” is a tautology

Final match up – Self Righteous Inconsiderate A-holes vs. Car Stereo Bass A-holes.

In a contest to see who can be the most dysfunctional, no one wins.

As a cyclist, I represent this comic!

I was just telling my wife, it’s March already and we haven’t heard that much about basketball this year.

What is it, a six week lag time for Sunday funnies; was Pastis blind sided?

i’m a grammar snob & proud of it!

I once saw a study finding that about 85% of all motorists consider themselves “better than average drivers.” The slowpokes think everyone faster than them is reckless, and the speedsters think everyone slower than them is holding up traffic; “those people” either change lanes too often or don’t change often enough; so on and so forth. I don’t drive, so a plague on all of their houses. (I own a bike, but I’m not “a cyclist;” if it’s too far to walk, mostly I take the bus.)

The categories above with which I most identify are probably Morning People, Grammar Snobs, and Debbie Downers. I’m surprised Morning People beat Grammar Snobs, but I’m not surprised Debbie Downers made it to the Final Four; that’s the team I most want to quit.

“People who leave their shopping cart askew in the middle of the aisle while choosing what to get from the shelf”

you forgot drunk Uber riders vs Lyft entitled riders

People with over 10 items in the Quick Check-out lane didn’t make the cut this year?

Wow. Never knew about the newest Totally Accurate Battle Simulator factions in the new TABS Tournament.

(Late to the party) I think Brain Numb Liberals would win the Tournament.

Grammar snobs don’t win a single one?! I’m offended!

Now this one is funny!

Don’t make it out of the starting gate, Pig.

These are brackets even non-March Madness fans can relate to and participate in! (But I was kinda partial to Grammar Snobs.)

And don’t forget people who make tournament brackets that predict the winners before the event. For any purpose whatsoever.

Morning people aren’t annoying.I get up at 5AM to commuteto Manhattan for 8:15 am punch-in.And you forgot people who talk loudly into their cell phones,deaf to the fact that the whole world can hear them

BATMAN COMICS 1945

“Ally Babble and the 14 Peeves”.

i dont know how fast 55 is in america but i know in the great north where i live, if your driving 55 on the highway your going half the speed limit and are not gonna be very popular among us angry (but polite) canucks

I live in Clark County, Nevada. I will forever misinterpret the word “vegan” as “people from Vegas.”

I’m surprised “elevator whistlers” (or any public place whistlers) didn’t make it further along…