Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for March 06, 2022

We’ve finally discovered what happened to one our greatest scientists:

René Descartes, exhausted from his busy day analyzing geometry, stopped at his local watering hole to have a beer before heading home. He finished it quickly and put down the glass.

“Will you have another, René?” the bartender inquired.

“I think not,” Descartes replied…

And disappeared.

A mountain-climbing plane crash jewel treasure story? Are we sure Castano isn’t just reading film scripts?

Anyone from Wisconsin here? If you’ve had the spruce beer, does it taste funky?

Mercury has a temperature of 333°F, Venus has a temperature of 867°F. No wonder none of the moons want to be there.

Well, let’s take a dab at this joke business.

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men his age, the boy didn’t really know what he wanted to do, and he didn’t seem too concerned about it.

One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy’s room and placed on his study table four objects: 1. A Bible. 2. A silver dollar. 3. A bottle of whiskey. 4. A Playboy magazine. I’ll just hide behind the door," the old preacher said to himself. “When he comes home from school today, I’ll see which object he picks up.” "If it’s the Bible, he’s going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be! "If he picks up the dollar, he’s going to be a business man, and that would be okay, too. "But if he picks up the bottle, he’s going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be. “And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he’s going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer.”

The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son’s foot-steps as he entered the house whistling and heading for his room. The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table.

With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them. Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired the magazine’s centerfold.

“Lord have mercy,” the old preacher disgustedly whispered. “He’s gonna run for Congress.”

Until next time.

I wonder if that tasted like an alcoholic Bierre D’epinette? Met that soda in Quebec as a child and still love it but hard to get.

So, the other half was taxes? Or was the climber married?

Take care, may side-eyed divorce lawyer Frederick “I Get Payed Whether You Win Or Not” Shystord be with you, and gesundheit.

So you can’t get mooned on Mercury and Venus?

The ‘climber’ should have kept his mouth SHUT.

The National Ignition Facility is NOT the place to crack a fart. BVD’s make for unstable plasma.

I was reading this in my email, and the smaller type made it look like the largest laGer is located inside the National Ignition Facility, and I thought that sounded like a bad place to keep the world’s biggest beer…

Squinting again: After the “Sproose” panel, thought the next one said “the largest LAGER in the world.” Sigh.

Although Mercury and Venus don’t have moons there is evidence that they underwent similar catastrophes that formed OUR planet’s moon. Mercury has almost no mantle and an unusually large iron core for its size, and Venus has a retrograde rotation compared to every other major body in the solar system. It’s believed that both of them may have undergone similar collisions with protoplanetary bodies that Earth did, just that they didn’t result in the formations of moons.

Wow, that was sure big of the French government!

At least the company has unique beer names …

https://blackhuskybrewing.com/beer/

Believe It Or Not…it’s not easy to read a comic with black letters on a dark purple background.

Venus has many moonless nights…