Tonight’s offering is absolutely true; it’s been my “signature” story for more than 50 years:
When I was in the 4th grade, the class bully, Tom Gould, used to target me. Since I was half his size, I didn’t have much of a chance on the playground, but in the classroom I had a little better footing…until he came up with the perfect rejoinder — at least perfect for the fourth grade — of “Not quite, Eromlig!” Anything I would call him, he came back with the same comment.“Gould, you hippo-butt!”“Not quite, Eromlig!”
“Gould, you banana brain!”
“Not quite, Eromlig!”
No matter what I called him, he came back with the same response. But finally one day, I figured out how to cope with it. I said, “Gould, you homo sapien!” Yes, it got the expected response.
Note: the teacher was writing on the blackboard at the time. I know she heard the exchange, because, although she didn’t turn around, she stopped writing and her shoulders shook for a good two minutes. It was a glorious day.
Tonight’s offering is absolutely true; it’s been my “signature” story for more than 50 years:
When I was in the 4th grade, the class bully, Tom Gould, used to target me. Since I was half his size, I didn’t have much of a chance on the playground, but in the classroom I had a little better footing…until he came up with the perfect rejoinder — at least perfect for the fourth grade — of “Not quite, Eromlig!” Anything I would call him, he came back with the same comment.“Gould, you hippo-butt!”“Not quite, Eromlig!”
“Gould, you banana brain!”
“Not quite, Eromlig!”
No matter what I called him, he came back with the same response. But finally one day, I figured out how to cope with it. I said, “Gould, you homo sapien!” Yes, it got the expected response.
Note: the teacher was writing on the blackboard at the time. I know she heard the exchange, because, although she didn’t turn around, she stopped writing and her shoulders shook for a good two minutes. It was a glorious day.