The Big Picture by Lennie Peterson for January 28, 2022

“So you’re pulling the old ‘Good Cat Servant/Bad Cat Servant’ routine on me?”

If you give him immunity he’ll tell you where the mouse bodies are.

We will let you slide on the charges of possessing medical grade catnip if you just give us the name of your supplier

“Wipe off the pouty faces boys, dog crime is up 40% and as long as this is my precinct, that’s not gonna stand!…also, someone bring me my morning Tender Vittles.”

“We know it was you who robbed the catnip dispensary. Your DNA is in all those hair balls we found at the scene.”

Lennie? I don’t know no pinkie named Lennie. You got the wrong cat, coppers.

When good cats go bad-ly, outside the litter box.

“We have ways of making you purr…”

“We KNOW you did it! Your paw prints were ALL OVER the crime scene. You tell us where you hid Lennie’s body, and we’ll see if we can make a deal.”

[later]

“I TOLD you to check the litter box! Why didn’t you?”

“That thing was NASTY. I think it may have been justifiable homicide AND just desserts for burying Lennie there!”

I won’t talk! You can’t make me talk.

Cop with hands on hips: “Indifference is not an alibi”

License? Well I’m licensed to thrill.

You can’t scare me with the threat of a life sentence. I’ve got 8 more lives after this one!

“I’m telling you. This perp has committed many ‘feline-ous’ crimes.”

Bird? What bird?

When he spills his or her guts, its just a fur ball!

You talking to me, coppers? The king of the universe? I’m above the law and I’ve already pardoned myself. Anyway, the dog did it.

Look, we all know it was a dog!

“He isn’t talking.”

“He’s a cat, stupid.”

“We’d better ease up on him. He’s only got two lives left.”

“She’s staring at something we can’t see…”

“Snap out of it! You’re letting her get into your head!”

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”

“I didn’t know you read Heinlein.”

Cop #1: “Say again? We’re supposed to take her in dead AND alive????”

Catnip? What Catnip?

Told ja Copper, my liter don’t stink